I did it!!
Lately life seemed a bit monotonous with many things pending for quite a long time which kept crawling and stretching just because of an uninspiring ‘Me’ and with time, I absolutely lost interest in many of them. And then ‘AlpenGlow’ happened. My life took an interesting twist.
All of a sudden, I feel so enthusiastic; so alive.
With new energy and new enthusiasm, I gathered my entire valour and cleared many self-imposed hurdles of my life, obviously one at a time.
Few days back our country celebrated ‘Independence Day’. I notice everyone around talks about being independent. I, myself, am a huge endorser of independence whether it is of a country, woman or man! But is it possible to be absolutely independent for us? My answer is…NO, absolute independence is not real.
As a teacher, I keep encouraging my students to study hard and be independent one day. Then I think that how studying hard is going to make them independent when I (even after having the highest degree) am still struggling to find the meaning of independence? True, they can become money making machines but does independence pertain only to financial matters or it has something to do with refusal of any kind of dependency on others, of which finance is also an element.
Since the dawn of our life, we depend on others. Having protective parents, shielding siblings, caring friends, loving spouse and amorous children, has made us so dependent that it is such a tough cookie to feel independent, to be independent. With someone always at our salvage, we have become so customary that we never learn to live and work independently. Moreover we enjoy that dependency in the form of luxury, don’t we?
With God’s grace I have had a good life till now. Guardian angel took good care of me; parents provided everything before asking; siblings loved me unconditionally and followed my trail. I was pampered by some friends to great deal. Further, my husband is such a ‘gem’, an indispensable ingredient in my every stance. Whatever I do (independently), I personally need him (not because society says so). He has to be there…that’s it (same thing applies to him as well). Now tell me how one is supposed to be independent; we are so damn dependent or should I say, interdependent.
For almost seven years of marriage, I have always enjoyed sitting next to him in the car (and he enjoyed letting me do that); I didn’t bother much to try my hand on the wheel. Although, I went to the driving school twice and could handle driving well but still I preferred to be dependent and let my learner’s license expire just like that (God! why I like this dependency so much!).
Thanks to afresh self determination, added by impetus ‘from family’ and obligation ‘due to family’ again, today I moved a step forward in the direction of my independence. Yes, I endeavoured and I conquered. I am no longer a learner now; I got permanent license to drive. So unbelievable but true… I did it. I am falling short of words to explain how happy I am today. It’s like one big thing I persistently thought but always ignored.
But… only half a battle is won yet. Half because I still have to fight with that dependency ogre inside me. Right now I am delighted and it’s time to celebrate my independence, though… partial ;).