Category Archives: Humour

It’s Not Fair Square 😤😤

If we talk about shapes, which ‘shape’ most people like????
You would say, ’36-24-36’😉😉. Caught you humming...I am in love with the shape of you….😍😍😍

Hello, Take a break! 🤗🤗

Firstly,  it’s practically impossible for all to have it 😮😮, as simple as that! and secondly, even those of you already having it, are you comfortable carrying the loads????

What a task! 😯😯

Oh I am sorry, I kind of deviated from my point. Coming back to today’s rant…My Glowingal got a homework today. She was to paste pictures of triangular shapes in her notebook. Sounds easy no! 

And to be on safer side I have kept many of her pre and nursery picture books handy for such emergent situations. I flipped through all of them only to end up with shrunk eyebrows and heavy breath. 

These publishers totally forgot to put triangles in there!!!!😮😮😮

What a pity! I never thought triangle is so rare!🤔🤔

I mean look at our bollywood movies; noone can do without it; there’s always a triangle…the love triangle! 😮😮

Anyways, I found it one of the most tedious job to finish the homework of a kindergarten kid!!!

So people don’t ask questions like what I do in the evenings or why don’t I call? You see, I am busy like hell, poking my head in to myriad such tiny but stupifying businesses.

And know for always… that out of various shapes, square and ractangle are actaully the darlings of masses; the most sought after shapes. 

See anywhere for yourself, incase you doubt me!

Modern Weepers

It’s scary when a dog weeps (I hope weep is the right word 😮😮).

Well, it goes like this,”if you hear dogs weeping, someone near or dear is definitely going to die.”It’s considered a bad omen, and your heart starts beating fast as soon as the wooooo…of these most faithful companions of human reach your ear; the impact is so!

Why am I telling you this???Why am airing my superstitions? Well, I have a good reason, you’ll see.

The new house we have moved in, has two dogs as guards; It is impossible to escape their acute watch. They are insane when it comes to barking. And just like any normal dogs they too have this habit of weeping, and that too a lot. Initially I would get goose bumps on hearing their fearsome voices but after keen observation I found that they make this atypical sound everytime a train take exit from a nearby tunnel. There it honks continuously. The faithful dogs religiously follow the suit…everytime…everyday. I can even tell time without looking at the clock!!!

So I guess the curse is lifted, may be! No more sad signals. Dogs too have changed with time. Now a days they weep for a different reason…to copy the train’s honk or to threaten it, they only know !!!😉😉😉

It’s true…I Am Single Again!!!

Me and Mr Coolhead are no longer together…
Unbelievabale but true.😞

A total 15 years of acquaintance,

13 years of friendship,

Including Around 9 years of a happy marriage,

What we have is…this!!!!😮😮

This is as unpalatable as it seems, cause there’s no me without him. So…my dear well wishers, stop smelling a rat here 😁 and there’s no need to panic as well. 😃

Definitely living apart but thankfully, we are still very much into each other 💏 and hopefully soon to be unified (ofcourse if circumstances favour).

Until then, this wanderer is on a completely different journey learning things as small as doing groceries, and as big as taking care of my extremely demanding Glowingal. Without any doubt, I am getting full attention from her…no shareholder 😉😉.
Yeah… I wished for the latter many times, and now…I have it but who’s gonna teach me how to live without HIM?😥😥

Come on, I can do it!!!🙄

And…I’ll do it…I have taken it as a challenge.

So, Singledom is my latest fad fellas!!😉😉

Mean Girls

Once upon a time…actually, always in time, there exists a species in world called ‘Student’ who wants to enjoy life like a wild party but at the same time fears exams like hell…

…So, in a far far land, there was a college where students were preparing for their assessment exams. Obviously the syllabus was way too vast (it always is 😉 ) to be covered in a very short period of time. So everyone was having high hopes from the mighty ‘neighbours’! The contact numbers were exchanged. The boys were getting chance to acquaint girls, beyond their reach otherwise. Examination is such a bonding carnival. 🙂

girl-boy

Since it’s a distance course, no one knew each other too well. There were three girls, D, K, and R (it’s dangerous to reveal identity 🤐) who happened to have good interaction with each other by-the-way. I mean they exchanged pleasantries very often. And because people here were into other businesses too, missing lectures was a usual thing and not-so-unusual news was they were going to face multiple exams in two days.😨

To ask about the syllabus covered, K tried D’s number, it was not-reachable. She tried after some time, again many times, but to no avail. So she sent her a text on whatsapp…which was never read. (Hmmm…Someone was behaving over smart here 🤔).

Never mind, K had number of some genuine people who rescued her. And finally the D day came. Yeah, it was D’s day actually. D was very studious and no wonder, in-demand, at least that day. Everyone wanted to be in her company which she guessed beforehand, and successfully avoided eye contact with anyone. (Why would she share her knowledge with anyone? What if someone scored above her?) Understandable! 😜

But cruel world spares no one; poor duckling was booked by some clever boys.😝

Now K by chance sat next to R who was not prepared for that day’s tests. She showed all good colors to K who also reciprocated, and the tests went well for both.👌

What is interesting here is R’s view of D, “I already have her number but I never called. I sense something fishy about her. She is weird…”

K was stunned cause this was what D had been telling her about R from the first day. (huff…Such is woman😱). Anyways!

Now befriending K, R planned to study the course in-parts because the next day, there would be three tests and altruistically, she took major part on herself.😄

“Don’t worry about two papers. You focus on one only. I am here.”

Taking into consideration that day’s cooperation, K got stress-free, but no no…she was not that immature for such plots. She prepared whatever she could and to no surprise when the next day she entered the examination room, R was already sitting with some other person. Ha!

K only smiled on her turnaround. But she was happy that she didn’t believe R blindly. With an intention of mischief, she said,

“Hey R, where’s my seat?” We are supposed to sit together No?”

“Oh I don’t know. This girl was pleading too much. I let her. I hope you understand”, R replies.

“You can shift to this place also and she can join us if she wants!” K teases R.

Don’t worry I’ll tell you the answers from here also”, R assures K.

“Oh yeah. That I know!” Saying this, K turns to front and… focuses on her paper…

Moral of the Story: Tests end and but lessons… Never! 🙂

For A ‘Change’ Only

Image result for Change indian  money

Its Monday folks! The worst day of the week you bet, where I am always running late in the morning for everything. The Fun day (Sunday) makes me so sluggish that it has become a habit to forget one or a few things at home and repent later.

But this Monday, I am in no hurry as you can see; I am writing! 🙂

Thanks to Pt Nehru, our first Prime minister; it’s his birthday today and our country celebrates it as ‘Children’s Day’ which is really cool. Why?

Come on, we all have our days, don’t we?

So first of all, here’s me wishing every kid over there, a happy ‘Children’s Day’, and as far as parents are concerned, I guess their every day is a children day 😉 which is sometime happy, and sometime the crazy one! But what to do, that’s the part of the deal ;).

Somehow I remembered and wished my girl first thing in the morning. She reverted the sentence as such after adding ‘let me sleep mamma!’

‘Fine’. When children themselves are not excited, why should I? Instead I picked my lappy and resumed my writing which I have been neglecting for a while.

Pleased by the gesture of my students on Teacher’s day, I promised to return the favour on this very day, forgetting it would be a holiday! But I didn’t know this day would coincide with the birth Anniversary of ‘Guru Nanak Ji’, the first Guru of Sikh religion (actually he is to be thanked for this holiday). This community celebrates the day with all pomp and show, I have heard, and am planning to visit a ‘Gurudwara’ nearby, may be in the evening. Many ‘happy returns of the day’, to all my Sikh brother and sisters.

The air in our country was ‘still’ for a few days; the currency change came as an agitator. You can see confused faces all around. Tell you the truth, just before the moment, this decision was made public, my daughter made me spend the last 500 note in my wallet. So I was happy as a clam.

Not for long you know, neither I nor Mr Coolhead had change or the smaller notes! Still we did great, leaving apart a few outing plans which needed to cancelled due to the never-ending queues in front of banks and ATM where we stood no chance! We didn’t even have the old currency in hand! So the weekend was spent at home, doing some important house chores like giving sun bath to the woollens as the winter is gradually approaching. I still have the job to empty the closets of summer clothing, and make them disappear as if they never existed, not at-least till April next year. Funny, seasons change but the jobs never ;).

In all, we were fine being cashless. Sensing our ease, the mighty employer decided to pay for our services before time and in cash! I mean why? What’s the hurry?  But as they say, beggars don’t have choice (that doesn’t make me a beggar though, I don’t beg, I earn, remember), and so right now, we have the hard-earned, priceless, good-for-nothing-notes lying helplessly in my cupboard unless of-course they make their entry to the bank itself to become pricey once again 😉 . But seeing the never-ending lines, I better wait; there’s enough time. 🙂

No wonder, the people who have references, have changed their notes to new ones the very next day. But commoners without links again have to wait for the right time. Well, anything for a cleaner Country! 🙂

So how’s it going with you guys? Have you got rid of the old notes? Do check the places where you normally hide the treasure to be surprised to find it later or you are sure to surprised one day ;)!

Ciao and have a great week with much change in your ‘pocket’ and a huge change in the ‘country’. 🙂

Mann

(Rhyme it with Sun)

PC:

http://www.track2realty.track2media.com/realty-sector-saw-significant-change-during-2005-14-cbre/

 

We Are Friends For…I don’t know how long! But If You Stay, I’ll Say… Forever !

Best Buds, You And I.. #friendship #quotes:

Friends are the siblings born to different parents, I have heard!

Last evening while roaming on the terrace, and alongside watching my daughter (soon-to-be-four) play with a boy from neighbourhood, I had to face an amusing situation. They were playing with toy cars, talking, giggling, rolling on the floor, and having great time. Suddenly my ‘GlowinGal’ took a pause, and came running to me, “Ma…Ma, I want to marry Namit?”

I was not expecting it, so, avoiding an exaggeration, I said, “Okay”. And off see went.

After that, leaving all the toys aside, the two started assembling wooden pieces and piling them up in some pattern known only to them.

“What’s going on kids?” I got curious.

“We are making home!” they responded without looking.

“Ahaan!” And before I could say anything else, GlowinGal started dancing.

“Now what’s it with you?” I got amazed.

“Aren’t we supposed to dance in our marriage”, she said in-between the moves.

(Well, I just heard that she wanted to marry this friend of her but she wanted it this soon, I had no idea 😉 !). I let her.

Cute Quotes About Lifelong Friends

And it’s funny that she forgot about it…completely, the very next day…He again was just a friend ;).

Next day, we were having mother-daughter conversation, “Darling, whom do you sit with in your Nursery class?”

“Rudra!” She said with a sparkle in her eyes.

I continued, “And who’s your best friend?”

“It’s Rudra Ma!”

Not for once did she mention the name of the boy she was planning to get married the previous evening. It’s a good thing that kids have a short memory otherwise by the time they actually become adults, they would be married, like zillion times ;).

“Rudra is a boy No! Don’t you have any girl-friend?” (I meant, girl as a friend)

“No!” She said in a low tone.

“Why?” I got worried. “What about Navya? Isn’t she a friend?”  

“But she sits with Athrava,” She said looking up.

“So?” (I was trying to have a conversation here 😉 )

“She’s his girl-friend Ma!” She revealed.

“Oh, so does that mean, you are Rudra’s girlfriend?”

“Yes and He’s my boyfriend Mamma!”

I was speechless but could not stop laughing :). (You might be so sure my little sweetheart but I am not sure about it!)

{It’s amazing how innocent childhood is! Kids don’t know what relations are all about.  I bet at some point of our life even we have thought of many stupid things. As a kid, many of us wished to marry our papa , isn’t it? Anyways, no one takes kids seriously, may be that’s why adults keep saying ‘No Kidding’!}

Seriously, I am not kidding now. we all meet countless people in life, a few of them become are friends and very few of them manage to stay till the end. Some are just fillers, so lost in the oblivion; those close-to-hearts always stay in memories and some special ones keep making our days brighter every now and then.

Sometimes All You Need Is Friends friends best friends friendship quotes minion minion quotes minion quotes and sayings:

Let’s Cherish the ones who are still there.

To my friends: I am glad I met you. Happy Friendship Day folks!

Keep smiling :).

Mann

 

Picture credits:

http://quotesgram.com/img/cute-quotes-about-lifelong-friends/ZTthTGJm6A/

https://in.pinterest.com

 

 

If Pears Can Be Red, Why The Crows Should Remain Black??

It was a mother-daughter story-session and ‘Glowingal’ was gladly telling me the story of a Crow who was very unhappy with his colour. When he saw a Swan swimming in a serene lake, displaying his glorious white plumage, the crow got desperate. Thinking, it might be the result of a daily swim in the lake, he too started taking bath and would spend hours rubbing his body against the mud. Neither his colour nor his determination faded, instead, he felt sick and died.

She made sure I hear the Moral , “You can change habits not the Nature.”

I was thinking, How unfair of Nature!

Then another day, we received a fruit basket from some relatives with delicious apples and pears in it. The fruits were disappearing fast from the fridge, especially the pears. Soon, I caught ‘GlowinGal’ red handed and she was like, “Ma, I love apples!”

“But this is pear, my dear!”

“No! Pear is green. This is red apple.”

“But apples do have green colour and Look at the shape and the taste!”

“No, this is apple, see!” and she munched the pear. “Apples are red and pears are green!”

It’s not easy to win from a soon-to-be four. 🙂 So seeing her grit, I yielded, “Okay! You are right; this is apple only. Pears aren’t red!”

(How do I tell her that there is something called ‘gene’ and scientists keep playing with it to make some desirable changes in things they ‘feel like’! On one hand, her story says you can’t change the Nature and on the other hand, we keep changing Nature!

Even if I am successful in convincing her that it is actually a ‘pear’, I am afraid, she’ll ask me to request the scientists to  make all the Crows white! ) 😉

Picture credit:

http://www.finecooking.com

http://www.pinterest.com

 

 

 

Offline Is Cumbersome. Does Online Look Handsome?

World is fast changing, and so are our ways of shopping! Who has the time and spirit to move from shop to shop in search of something different?

Even if someone does, who likes the first question that the salesman puts straight on your face, “Ma’am, What do you want?”

I mean come on! Sometimes we just don’t know what we actually want; we are just hunting! 😉

Suppose, this is one of those days when you know what you are after. There you are, scanning the entire paraphernalia with a tight pout and shrivelled eyebrows, immediately, the next question follows, “what ‘exactly’ are you looking for?”

You feel like thrashing his head, especially when you have no idea. You have to bear the trail of exhibitions and a pressure to pick ‘something’ as you feel guilty of removing everything down the shelves!  And don’t forget his useless display of courtesy by lowering price (which is already exaggerated) with a tag line, ‘Don’t tell anyone! This discount…is only for you’!

Due to the limited options, you are left with no option but to pick the pack and come out of the shop only to notice a more fascinating dress on the dummy next door. You are forced to recheck your bag, and then cheer up your heart that yours is better or… if you are feeling a little (actually lot) extravagant, you may dare to enter another alluring trap and come out…loaded, and possibly satisfied.

Well, I am a huge disgrace, when it comes to the ‘real’ shopping (only for myself!). And to avoid the embarrassment, I mostly prefer online shopping :). But here also, I am on-tenterhooks; I just can’t order anything and everything. So, I find myself hopping from site to site and page to page… cause the next one always seems better. 😉

What a waste of precious time!  But this is how I am! And the fact is, I am really satisfied with my performance…until…I had an absurd experience. I was to attend an important marriage in the family. Just to avoid the heat outside, I opted shopping from the comfort of my air conditioned house, lying leisurely on my bed. I had hard time selecting the dress but once it was done, I started counting the days. Normally the delivery occurs the second or third day; not this time. (The heavens were conspiring against me ;)). I waited… and waited, then emailed, again… and again but all in vain. Only the auto-generated email would show up every time.

Can you imagine, it was 9th June when I first placed my order, and it is 18th July today, that I last got the same message, over again. Disgusting! The marriage is over and it was the odious age-old method of shopping which rescued me. Rightly said, ‘Old is Gold’. I am shocked at such behaviour of these ‘Voonik’ people. I swear, I am not going to buy anything from them, ever!

But no shopping online…I can’t promise ;).

(PS: I guess they had a bad dream 😉  May be that’s why they finally woke up from a dead sleep, and immediately thought of refunding the money with an apology.) 🙂

Picture credit:

retail.economictimes.indiatimes.com

Am I famous?

Running from a roasting Sun, and stricken by a bad tummy-ache, I heaved a sigh of relief as I made myself seated in a vacant sun-bathing bus. To my surprise, a voice entered my right ear from nowhere,

Ma’am, can you shift the bag please?

A tall, somewhat dark, and fairly handsome guy was pleading on my right. I scanned the bus in a jiffy and wondered ‘why doesn’t he go and sit somewhere else’!

But I don’t know why, I picked the bag with the left hand (as my right hand was busy holding the aching tummy) and he joined me.

The pain was simply sucking life out of me, and it was becoming difficult to wait any more. Soon the engine roared and we were on the go.

The fellow looked towards me in excitement and almost yelled,

He: I… know you!

I: Really!

(Am I this famous? Has he recognized that I am Mann from AlpenGlow? I forgot the pain for a sec.)

He: Yeah…You… are… a professor in the University.

Damn! 😦

I: Nope. (I cut it short.)

He: You must be working here?

I: Na!

He: Why were you here? Relatives!

I: Yes.

He: Where are you headed to?

This person was surely going to bog me down whole time but I still tried to be sweet,

I: where this bus is going! (I pointed towards the board in the bus front)

He: By the way…What do you do?

Now it was time to draw a line.

I: Listen young man! I am already much troubled. If you excuse me, I just want to sit quiet.

He: I understand. Not only you, everyone is troubled by this killing heat. What to do? Rab mee ni barsanda! (God is not letting rains down!)

Thinking him idiot, I ignored and looked out. He continued mumbling…

He: Very high ji…the temperature. Bahar da vi te loka da vi (he was trying to convey that my temper is equally high as the temperature outside). I thought let it be.

After a while, the conductor came for the tickets and he again turned to me,

He: This bus goes there? (asking about a station)

Was I his guide or some sort of entertainer?

I: Ask him! (I pointed towards the conductor)

He: Where will you be getting off the bus?

I: How does that concern you Mister?

He: Because I am sitting with you, Na.      

I: Oh I see. If that is the thing, would you mind straightening your vertebral column and reducing the circumference of your legs, a bit?

He: Oh sure ji.

I: Thank you. Now you sit here as wide as you want and as long as you feel because I am leaving.

And I went ahead to sit on single seat.

Soon he followed in the parallel row. He started to scare me. So I had to stay alert.

Just the day before, I watched the movie Fan and I saw how obsessed these fans become (don’t laugh). So this whole time, I kept thinking, will he be keeping an eye where I am gonna disembark? What if he follows me? What will be my reaction? Should I fool him by getting down at some other stoppage? or should I make scene in public? Do I have my cell charged? I preplanned a few things if anything happens.

And you know as I got off the bus, nothing of this sort happened. I was not at all followed. 😉

So, does it mean, I am not famous yet?

or May be!

No, obviously…I am not. (Now you can laugh out loud.) 🙂

 

 

Photo credit:

www.smithankyou.com

www.blacksnowcomic.com

 

Sometimes ‘Fooling’ Does The Trick ;)

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Planet Earth is so diverse, and so is ‘human nature’- So variable; so unpredictable.

But right now what I am talking about is, two kind of people- First kind is, who believe in ‘not’ creating any problem, therefore focus on their own work sincerely. Then there’s another kind, who feel no disgrace in troubling others. These ‘trouble-makers’ are big nuisance for any society.

For example, in a team, you may have the most sincere members and at the same time there are a few who are mere annoyance to everyone else. If you give the command of the team to the most deserving member, I bet, you won’t ever witness any peace and moreover you’ll see the people making fun of their capabilities. Instead of getting appreciated for their efforts, the worthy may suffer from self doubt which will actually harm their personality, and this is not good; neither for the individual nor the team!

But, what if you shift the burden of responsibility. Make leaders, out of the ill-behaved ones, and demand performance!

No wonder you’ll succeed in attaining your goals. There will be peace; there will be harmony. And the ‘Impish’ can be seen boasting of their unmatchable control and influence. You can easily spot them saying, “Look, this is how things are done!”

Amazing, isn’t it?

The ‘devils’ don’t realize that things are running smooth not because of their efforts but because of their ‘no-efforts’ as this time they have been routed along the flow, and are no more standing against it. ‘Trouble-makers’ have been made ‘trouble-shooters’ so where the trouble will arise from?

As for the sincere ones, they have a nature of doing their best whether they are leading or following, it doesn’t matter!

I don’t know if I could make you understand my point but the message here is loud and clear ─

To make a difference,

You don’t have to be a LEADER;

Sometimes Fooling

Oh I mean, Following,  can also do the trick! 😉