Category Archives: Humour

It’s a ‘Fast’ Race To Moon

No matter how much I tried to postpone, today evening I had to do the due…oh…I hope you guessed it …tomorrow is Karwachauth…a day when we, the Indian ladies (well not all Indian ladies) stay without food and water (till we see the Moon) to please the God so that he blesses our husbands with long life.

Well, its nice and sweet till here but how do we explain that mindless shopping that goes on for days before the D day?

I find it pointless. Whether the other person like your gift or not (which they mostly don’t ๐Ÿ˜‹), the things are purchased just because you have to…not because you want to!

Are you buying these bangles for your mother in law? You better buy the expensive ones??? A lady adviced me in the jampacked shop. I looked at her and said,‘I don’t even know if these are gonna fit or not!’

But still, you have to buy na!

She was right. ๐Ÿค”

So yeah, some customs are mendatory or are made mendatory, I don’t know by whom, and for what…Is it to keep women busy in ‘this’ business or to keep them busy ‘out’ of the business. I am forced to think. ๐Ÿค”

Women are busy in,

  • boasting about their designer dresses which they are planning to wear; 
  • In advertising the glow on their faces to be natural, (which have nothing to do with spending handsome in the beauty salon). 

Many actually demand pricey unusual gifts from their husband, and next day pretend as if the night surprised them with riches from its chest!!!

What did you get? the most common question.๐Ÿ˜

 he got me this! The obvious answer. ๐Ÿค‘

Oh it happens! Doesn’t it?

Though I am a misfit many a times, and I have my own ways but it’s not that I don’t enjoy this madness…I too am human…Once I am in, I am in.๐Ÿ˜‰

But yeah, there are other reasons to like it. I like this fast because it looks more like a festival…you are a different kind of IMPORTANT. And even better when your other half too join you in. There you read it.

So my soon to be fasting ladies, I am hopeless faster compared to you. When you all have already polished your faces, or may be bodies, treated your hair, planned your full day tomorrow, I am busy writing this๐Ÿค“๐Ÿค“…My hands are yet to be stained with henna…I don’t even remember how am I gonna start.

 I am still thinking should I get up at 4 or not? Though I have bought all those fanies, and mathies but I really don’t like to eat them, not atleast first thing in the morning! ๐Ÿ˜ซ๐Ÿ˜ซ

Let’s see how it turns out. No burden on my already exhausted brain. I’ll begin afresh tomorrow morning…

Happy Karwachuth by the way…hope you have a wonder filled day!!!!
Pic credit:

http://www.wikihow.com/images/c/c0/Celebrate-Karva-Chauth-Step-

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Save Some HandSome!!!!๐Ÿค‘๐Ÿค‘

Well, just yesterday I was talking to Jim how heartbreaking it is for us people to earn here in Rupees and splurge in dollars or likes, in case we plan our tours abroad. Lots of savings, and huge planning is what a middle Class Indian needs here. 

But yeah… it can be less heartbreaking, If you happen to have your son or your daughter, or may be your brother or sister residing there; things could be smoother, atleast on your mind, no no, not on your pocket! That much you should bear ๐Ÿ˜‹๐Ÿ˜‹๐Ÿ˜‹.

So whenever my daughter, my snow, my glowingal, she sees any big blue flowy thing on the screen,(yes you guessed it right  I am talking about blue water ๐Ÿ˜‰), she is like I wanna go there mommy! 

I tell her beta it’s an exotic place…you got to have handsome bank balance for that!

Looks like she is being aimed by naughty travel bug! ๐Ÿ˜ฎ๐Ÿ˜ฎ 

She says determiningly, “we’ll take it from Papa.”

“That’s very sweet but papa and I have money enough for ourselves only. Do you have money to buy your ticket?” I teased her.

“Yes I have… in my piggy bank.” She responded as if expecting it already

“But that’s not enough, I assume,”I shrugged.

“SO WHAT MOM, I’LL SAVE MORE MONEY AND THEN GO.” she said leaving the piggy bank down.

“Okay…if you say so! We’ll wait till then, and go to all beautiful places together, one by one. Fine!” And I forgot.

Today morning, I was struggling to get her ready to school, combing her hair, forcing breakfast in to her mouth, and giving looks to the clock, ‘why you have to move so fast in the morning????’ 

I tell you, the toughest part of the day for me is morning, and I feel no shame when I say this. It’s like ‘conquering’ the mount Everest while climbing the rise back home after happily seeing her off to the school. As if today’s biggest challenge is over…and I CAN BREATH NOW. sigh!

So today in order to stop her constant whining, and limping here and there, I tried to divert her mind by engaging ger in conversation…

“What should I bring for you in the evening?”

Silence…

“Juice! I’ll bring you your favourite juice,” I was expecting some reaction from her side but…

Again silence.

“Okay, you want me to buy the bigger pack, right!!!!”

Now she broke out…and said something which was not clearly audible.

“What are you saying baby?”

“Wo to mehnga nahi hota mamma?” (Isn’t that expensive mamma???) She expressed concern.

“So what my darling. I’ll still bring it. Your mommy loves you the most. I can do anything for you.”(I tried to take the advantage of the moment as if buying a juice pack is the hardest thing on Earth!๐Ÿ˜ฎ๐Ÿ˜ฎ)

“But we have to do savings no!” She was crying with tears.๐Ÿ˜ฅ๐Ÿ˜ฅ

And I was like wait…

What!!!!๐Ÿ˜ฏ๐Ÿ˜ฏ๐Ÿ˜ฏ
So basically my peanut is going to save money for tripping abroad by not buying costly things…atleast this is what she said…ahan…I got it๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜.

PS. It’s evening time when I am writing this PS…and she is enjoying the big serving of juice, along with her expensive type of snacks. 

Savings…ha!!!!๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜

White Bites

Toothed mouth is one of Nature’s best blessings to us. ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜ If you have some disagreements, go ask your grandpa! ๐Ÿ™…

You are gorgeous, thank your chompers for that!๐Ÿ˜ฌ

With God’s tremendous grace and to some extent my parents’ kind genes, My set of pearls is still rock strong, and lets me enjoy every flavour that is on offering.

For those who don’t bother knowing, we have four types of teeth, and besides decorating your face with that shining smile, these folks sometimes do the exact opposite!

If you didn’t get my point, ask someone with the enlarged canines on both the jaws!!!!๐Ÿ‘น

Yeah they  definitely look different!

But Man! you have no idea!๐Ÿ™„ 

Imagine you are totally savouring some delicacy…one bite, and suddenly…you are like ouch!!!!!!๐Ÿ™Š

Mostly you end up biting your own inner lip…

Whatever you say, please remember

it really hurts!๐Ÿ™Š

PS. It’s not me in the pic ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜.

Pic credit:

http://www.sydney4women.com.au/wp-content/uploads/Avril-Lavigne_teeth

Zodiac Discrimination,They Call It !!!๐Ÿ˜ฎ๐Ÿ˜ฎ๐Ÿ˜ฎ

I just read an interesting news…

The Chinese youth are finding western astrology more accurate as compared to their age old native fortune telling technique, and amusing enough, they are using Zodiac signs as one of the tools for hiring purpose. ๐Ÿ˜ฌ๐Ÿ˜ฌ๐Ÿ˜ฌ

 Not bad…haan…at least for me, in case I plan to migrate there!๐Ÿ˜‰๐Ÿ˜‰

I am a Virgo, and, is there need to tell that Virgo like it ‘PERFECT’ all the way. So my future is like really bright in China. Why would someone take the risk to loose a PERFECTIONIST???? ๐Ÿค“๐Ÿค“๐Ÿค“

I know…I know…lots of Virgo on Earth! Do not loose hope and by the way, you are already one competitor down here… cause I am not in a mood to leave my present niche, at least for now. ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜

Go, use yours stars and make a fortune y’all. ๐Ÿ‘ฆ๐Ÿ‘ฉ

What Is In The Name?

Many of us, at some stage of our life, curse our parents for giving us the ‘Name’ that we have, especially during teenage we are much concious about it. We always believe that it could have been better had they thought a little more…atleast better than this!!!!

We keep chewing the cud, and one day we realise that this is what it is and we have to live with it. Ofcourse many people go to the extent of changing their names as well. Brave ears!!! I just wonder how they respond to their old names once they switch!!!!
Anyways it’s their Problem! I already have made peace with my name. ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜

Then  what encouraged this write up?

Here’s the thing.How do you respond when your four something gal comes to you and says,”Mamma, Please change my name! I don’t like it.

What are you supposed to do?

I mean we took a lot of time…thinking…discussions…and then on the pious occasion of Diwali, she was named after Goddess Laxmi (the goddess tending money ๐Ÿค“)…oh don’t think otherwise, we in India actually worship this Goddess on the festival of light, Diwali, and moreover, her grandparents announced her arrival to this world as ‘Laxmi aayehe he…’Laxmi has arrived’. So how can she just not like it???

 There is lot of hard work, devotion and emotions after naming her, and now she is not liking it!!!๐Ÿ˜ฎ๐Ÿ˜ฎ๐Ÿ˜ฎ

Anyway, just to keep her calm, I said,”then by what name would you like to be known, sweetheart?”

“How is Rupenzel?” She immediately said as if waiting desperately for this.

“Nooo! But she had loooooong hair. Look at yours, hardly coming in a rubberband!” I discouraged the suggestion.๐Ÿ˜‹๐Ÿ˜‹

“Then Cinderella?” She got little nervous.

Poor kid. Can’t think outside her imaginary world.

“No, How am I gonna call you? It doesn’t go well on my tongue,” I again rejected the plea. (Gosh, I am a bad mom๐Ÿ˜ฅ๐Ÿ˜ฅ)

“It is so tough mommy! What name should I choose?” She got sad.

“Think…there are more heroines in your fairy tales,” I said to cheer her up.

“Decided, my new name is going to be ‘Snow-white’! You like it ma?”

Munching on to the biscuit, I said, “Okay! But I’ll call you Snow. Is that fine?”

“Yes mamma! Snow white…Snow,” She said smilingly, “Now let’s find a new name for you too.

“No, I am cool beta!” I took another bite from the cookie.

“What’s the name of the biscuit that you are eating?” (Children are weird, they ask random questions ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜)

“It’s Marie Light!” I flipped the pack to show her.

“Wow! Mamma, Daughter, Snow-white, and Mother, Marie Light!!! How’s that? Isn’t your new name awesome? She was happy, So I could not object.

 I only said,”But call me Marie haan!“๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜

So people, as you see, unofficially…our names have been changed. Mann is Marie and her Glowingal…she is Snow.๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜

It’s Not Fair Square ๐Ÿ˜ค๐Ÿ˜ค

If we talk about shapes, which ‘shape’ most people like????
You would say, ’36-24-36’๐Ÿ˜‰๐Ÿ˜‰. Caught you humming...I am in love with the shape of you….๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜

Hello, Take a break! ๐Ÿค—๐Ÿค—

Firstly,  it’s practically impossible for all to have it ๐Ÿ˜ฎ๐Ÿ˜ฎ, as simple as that! and secondly, even those of you already having it, are you comfortable carrying the loads????

What a task! ๐Ÿ˜ฏ๐Ÿ˜ฏ

Oh I am sorry, I kind of deviated from my point. Coming back to today’s rant…My Glowingal got a homework today. She was to paste pictures of triangular shapes in her notebook. Sounds easy no! 

And to be on safer side I have kept many of her pre and nursery picture books handy for such emergent situations. I flipped through all of them only to end up with shrunk eyebrows and heavy breath. 

These publishers totally forgot to put triangles in there!!!!๐Ÿ˜ฎ๐Ÿ˜ฎ๐Ÿ˜ฎ

What a pity! I never thought triangle is so rare!๐Ÿค”๐Ÿค”

I mean look at our bollywood movies; noone can do without it; there’s always a triangle…the love triangle! ๐Ÿ˜ฎ๐Ÿ˜ฎ

Anyways, I found it one of the most tedious job to finish the homework of a kindergarten kid!!!

So people don’t ask questions like what I do in the evenings or why don’t I call? You see, I am busy like hell, poking my head in to myriad such tiny but stupifying businesses.

And know for always… that out of various shapes, square and ractangle are actaully the darlings of masses; the most sought after shapes. 

See anywhere for yourself, incase you doubt me!

Modern Weepers

It’s scary when a dog weeps (I hope weep is the right word ๐Ÿ˜ฎ๐Ÿ˜ฎ).

Well, it goes like this,”if you hear dogs weeping, someone near or dear is definitely going to die.”It’s considered a bad omen, and your heart starts beating fast as soon as the wooooo…of these most faithful companions of human reach your ear; the impact is so!

Why am I telling you this???Why am airing my superstitions? Well, I have a good reason, you’ll see.

The new house we have moved in, has two dogs as guards; It is impossible to escape their acute watch. They are insane when it comes to barking. And just like any normal dogs they too have this habit of weeping, and that too a lot. Initially I would get goose bumps on hearing their fearsome voices but after keen observation I found that they make this atypical sound everytime a train take exit from a nearby tunnel. There it honks continuously. The faithful dogs religiously follow the suit…everytime…everyday. I can even tell time without looking at the clock!!!

So I guess the curse is lifted, may be! No more sad signals. Dogs too have changed with time. Now a days they weep for a different reason…to copy the train’s honk or to threaten it, they only know !!!๐Ÿ˜‰๐Ÿ˜‰๐Ÿ˜‰

It’s true…I Am Single Again!!!

Me and Mr Coolhead are no longer together…
Unbelievabale but true.๐Ÿ˜ž

A total 15 years of acquaintance,

13 years of friendship,

Including Around 9 years of a happy marriage,

What we have is…this!!!!๐Ÿ˜ฎ๐Ÿ˜ฎ

This is as unpalatable as it seems, cause there’s no me without him. So…my dear well wishers, stop smelling a rat here ๐Ÿ˜ and there’s no need to panic as well. ๐Ÿ˜ƒ

Definitely living apart but thankfully, we are still very much into each other ๐Ÿ’ and hopefully soon to be unified (ofcourse if circumstances favour).

Until then, this wanderer is on a completely different journey learning things as small as doing groceries, and as big as taking care of my extremely demanding Glowingal. Without any doubt, I am getting full attention from her…no shareholder ๐Ÿ˜‰๐Ÿ˜‰.
Yeah… I wished for the latter many times, and now…I have it but who’s gonna teach me how to live without HIM?๐Ÿ˜ฅ๐Ÿ˜ฅ

Come on, I can do it!!!๐Ÿ™„

And…I’ll do it…I have taken it as a challenge.

So, Singledom is my latest fad fellas!!๐Ÿ˜‰๐Ÿ˜‰

Mean Girls

Once upon a timeโ€ฆactually, always in time, there exists a species in world called โ€˜Studentโ€™ who wants to enjoy life like a wild party but at the same time fears exams like hell…

…So, in a far far land, there was a college where students were preparing for their assessment exams. Obviously the syllabus was way too vast (it always is ๐Ÿ˜‰ ) to be covered in a very short period of time. So everyone was having high hopes from the mighty โ€˜neighboursโ€™! The contact numbers were exchanged. The boys were getting chance to acquaint girls, beyond their reach otherwise. Examination is such a bonding carnival. ๐Ÿ™‚

girl-boy

Since itโ€™s a distance course, no one knew each other too well. There were three girls, D, K, and R (itโ€™s dangerous to reveal identity ๐Ÿค) who happened to have good interaction with each other by-the-way. I mean they exchanged pleasantries very often. And because people here were into other businesses too, missing lectures was a usual thing and not-so-unusual news was they were going to face multiple exams in two days.๐Ÿ˜จ

To ask about the syllabus covered, K tried Dโ€™s number, it was not-reachable. She tried after some time, again many times, but to no avail. So she sent her a text on whatsappโ€ฆwhich was never read. (Hmmmโ€ฆSomeone was behaving over smart here ๐Ÿค”).

Never mind, K had number of some genuine people who rescued her. And finally the D day came. Yeah, it was Dโ€™s day actually. D was very studious and no wonder, in-demand, at least that day. Everyone wanted to be in her company which she guessed beforehand, and successfully avoided eye contact with anyone. (Why would she share her knowledge with anyone? What if someone scored above her?) Understandable! ๐Ÿ˜œ

But cruel world spares no one; poor duckling was booked by some clever boys.๐Ÿ˜

Now K by chance sat next to R who was not prepared for that dayโ€™s tests. She showed all good colors to K who also reciprocated, and the tests went well for both.๐Ÿ‘Œ

What is interesting here is Rโ€™s view of D, โ€œI already have her number but I never called. I sense something fishy about her. She is weirdโ€ฆโ€

K was stunned cause this was what D had been telling her about R from the first day. (huff…Such is woman๐Ÿ˜ฑ). Anyways!

Now befriending K, R planned to study the course in-parts because the next day, there would be three tests and altruistically, she took major part on herself.๐Ÿ˜„

โ€œDonโ€™t worry about two papers. You focus on one only. I am here.โ€

Taking into consideration that dayโ€™s cooperation, K got stress-free, but no no…she was not that immature for such plots. She prepared whatever she could and to no surprise when the next day she entered the examination room, R was already sitting with some other person. Ha!

K only smiled on her turnaround. But she was happy that she didnโ€™t believe R blindly. With an intention of mischief, she said,

โ€œHey R, whereโ€™s my seat?โ€ We are supposed to sit together No?โ€

โ€œOh I donโ€™t know. This girl was pleading too much. I let her. I hope you understandโ€, R replies.

โ€œYou can shift to this place also and she can join us if she wants!โ€ K teases R.

โ€œDonโ€™t worry Iโ€™ll tell you the answers from here alsoโ€, R assures K.

โ€œOh yeah. That I know!โ€ Saying this, K turns to front andโ€ฆ focuses on her paper…

Moral of the Story: Tests end and but lessons… Never! ๐Ÿ™‚

For A ‘Change’ Only

Image result for Change indian  money

Its Monday folks! The worst day of the week you bet, where I am always running late in the morning for everything. The Fun day (Sunday) makes me so sluggish that it has become a habit to forget one or a few things at home and repent later.

But this Monday, I am in no hurry as you can see; I am writing! ๐Ÿ™‚

Thanks to Pt Nehru, our first Prime minister; itโ€™s his birthday today and our country celebrates it as ‘Childrenโ€™s Day’ which is really cool. Why?

Come on, we all have our days, donโ€™t we?

So first of all, hereโ€™s me wishing every kid over there, a happy โ€˜Childrenโ€™s Day’, and as far as parents are concerned, I guess their every day is a children day ๐Ÿ˜‰ which is sometime happy, and sometime the crazy one! But what to do, thatโ€™s the part of the deal ;).

Somehow I remembered and wished my girl first thing in the morning. She reverted the sentence as such after adding โ€˜let me sleep mamma!โ€™

โ€˜Fineโ€™. When children themselves are not excited, why should I? Instead I picked my lappy and resumed my writing which I have been neglecting for a while.

Pleased by the gesture of my students on Teacherโ€™s day, I promised to return the favour on this very day, forgetting it would be a holiday! But I didnโ€™t know this day would coincide with the birth Anniversary of โ€˜Guru Nanak Jiโ€™, the first Guru of Sikh religion (actually he is to be thanked for this holiday). This community celebrates the day with all pomp and show, I have heard, and am planning to visit a โ€˜Gurudwaraโ€™ nearby, may be in the evening. Many โ€˜happy returns of the dayโ€™, to all my Sikh brother and sisters.

The air in our country was โ€˜stillโ€™ for a few days; the currency change came as an agitator. You can see confused faces all around. Tell you the truth, just before the moment, this decision was made public, my daughter made me spend the last 500 note in my wallet. So I wasย happy as a clam.

Not for long you know, neither I nor Mr Coolhead had change or the smaller notes! Still we did great, leaving apart a few outing plans which needed to cancelled due to the never-ending queues in front of banks and ATM where we stood no chance! We didnโ€™t even have the old currency in hand! So the weekend was spent at home, doing some important house chores like giving sun bath to the woollens as the winter is gradually approaching. I still have the job to empty the closets of summer clothing, and make them disappear as if they never existed, not at-least till April next year. Funny, seasons change but the jobs never ;).

In all, we were fine being cashless. Sensing our ease, the mighty employer decided to pay for our services before time and in cash! I mean why? Whatโ€™s the hurry? ย But as they say, beggars donโ€™t have choice (that doesnโ€™t make me a beggar though, I donโ€™t beg, I earn, remember), and so right now, we have the hard-earned, priceless, good-for-nothing-notes lying helplessly in my cupboard unless of-course they make their entry to the bank itself to become pricey once again ๐Ÿ˜‰ . But seeing the never-ending lines, I better wait; thereโ€™s enough time. ๐Ÿ™‚

No wonder, the people who have references, have changed their notes to new ones the very next day. But commoners without links again have to wait for the right time. Well, anything for a cleaner Country! ๐Ÿ™‚

So howโ€™s it going with you guys? Have you got rid of the old notes? Do check the places where you normally hide the treasure to be surprised to find it later or you are sure to surprised one day ;)!

Ciao and have a great week with much change in your ‘pocket’ and a huge change in the ‘country’. ๐Ÿ™‚

Mann

(Rhyme it with Sun)

PC:

http://www.track2realty.track2media.com/realty-sector-saw-significant-change-during-2005-14-cbre/