Category Archives: Parenting
Few days back my daughter turned Five. She wanted to celebrate it huge, and I…I wanted it to be different!
Here, I admit, I like to try humanly yet unusual things, and absolutely love to get credit for my efforts…like most of you.😊
So after a lot of brainstorming, I stopped at one thought…about the very ‘in’ thing these days…i.e. Finding and visiting the nearest orphanage, and have a unique birthday celebration with the less fortunate children. This was obviously going to be different, but somehow, it didn’t get approval from the rational mind of mine.
It did sound like very humane at first to gift a few joyful moments to those kids, but at the same time, it felt really inhumane to me.
Celebrating your happiness with them!
Doesn’t it sound less like making them happy, and more like making them realize how unfortunate they are? Don’t you think somewhere they are going to envy the good fate of kids who have parents to take care of them, and love them unconditionally? Wouldn’t it be merciless on our part to knowingly press their most painful nerve? Doesn’t matter how nice we be to them, it is going to last a short while. We are going to come back with a good feeling of charity, but what we would be leaving behind… that, disturbs my mind… who is going to make up for the painful reminder of inadequacy, of deficiency? Who is going to fill the void that is there in their life…permanently?
So obviously the idea died at the very place it took birth. I don’t know if I did right or wrong, but I know one thing, I won’t atleast go there for celebrating ‘my happiness’, that I can do in other countless possible ways.
If ever I’ll go to them, It will be ‘for’ them
I won’t go at all…
PS. The post is based on personal opinion of the author. It in no way is meant to offend anyone’s feelings.
Well, just yesterday I was talking to Jim how heartbreaking it is for us people to earn here in Rupees and splurge in dollars or likes, in case we plan our tours abroad. Lots of savings, and huge planning is what a middle Class Indian needs here.
But yeah… it can be less heartbreaking, If you happen to have your son or your daughter, or may be your brother or sister residing there; things could be smoother, atleast on your mind, no no, not on your pocket! That much you should bear 😋😋😋.
So whenever my daughter, my snow, my glowingal, she sees any big blue flowy thing on the screen,(yes you guessed it right I am talking about blue water 😉), she is like I wanna go there mommy!
I tell her beta it’s an exotic place…you got to have handsome bank balance for that!
Looks like she is being aimed by naughty travel bug! 😮😮
She says determiningly, “we’ll take it from Papa.”
“That’s very sweet but papa and I have money enough for ourselves only. Do you have money to buy your ticket?” I teased her.
“Yes I have… in my piggy bank.” She responded as if expecting it already
“But that’s not enough, I assume,”I shrugged.
“SO WHAT MOM, I’LL SAVE MORE MONEY AND THEN GO.” she said leaving the piggy bank down.
“Okay…if you say so! We’ll wait till then, and go to all beautiful places together, one by one. Fine!” And I forgot.
Today morning, I was struggling to get her ready to school, combing her hair, forcing breakfast in to her mouth, and giving looks to the clock, ‘why you have to move so fast in the morning????’
I tell you, the toughest part of the day for me is morning, and I feel no shame when I say this. It’s like ‘conquering’ the mount Everest while climbing the rise back home after happily seeing her off to the school. As if today’s biggest challenge is over…and I CAN BREATH NOW. sigh!
So today in order to stop her constant whining, and limping here and there, I tried to divert her mind by engaging ger in conversation…
“What should I bring for you in the evening?”
“Juice! I’ll bring you your favourite juice,” I was expecting some reaction from her side but…
“Okay, you want me to buy the bigger pack, right!!!!”
Now she broke out…and said something which was not clearly audible.
“What are you saying baby?”
“Wo to mehnga nahi hota mamma?” (Isn’t that expensive mamma???) She expressed concern.
“So what my darling. I’ll still bring it. Your mommy loves you the most. I can do anything for you.”(I tried to take the advantage of the moment as if buying a juice pack is the hardest thing on Earth!😮😮)
“But we have to do savings no!” She was crying with tears.😥😥
And I was like wait…
So basically my peanut is going to save money for tripping abroad by not buying costly things…atleast this is what she said…ahan…I got it😁😁😁.
PS. It’s evening time when I am writing this PS…and she is enjoying the big serving of juice, along with her expensive type of snacks.
To be a parent just ‘good enough’ seems like an impossible task.
Dealing with a bossy, grouchy, altogether difficult-to-handle kid these days, and trying to figure out the ways to keep things cool.
On the kid’s part, there are a lot of changes going on;
Homework used to be fun earlier; it’s becoming burden.😶
Doremon is closer to heart than dear mom!🤔
Whatever she thinks is final; mom’s opinion has no strength in front of her what so ever!😮
Either you agree or be ready for a big tantarum!🙊
If you try to tell the diffrence between right and wrong; you are not audible!🙉
And if you choose to keep mum; you don’t love her, you don’t care about your daughter you see!🙈
(Gosh, you don’t even have the right to say nothing!)😯😯
So currently sitting on the Park bench, watching the bubbly kids busy in their own world, and my ‘Glowingal’ is shining like Snow in fresh Sun.
So here is my new venture…to visit the park every evening after a long tiring day, in the hope of soothing the tiny energetic mind or
the tense nerves of mine!😉😉
HOPE IT WORKS.😌😌
GLOWINGAL Aka SNOW dozed off while watching her favourite cartoon show; she must be tired of all day work and play!😴😴
For a second, the exhausted mom also thought of a quick nap but she left the idea, and looked for the school bag instead.
Left over food! Whole lot of homework! When would she do it ?😯😯
Letting her sleep for some time, mommy rushed to the kitchen to do the due, and proudly announced ‘its dinner time’ to… apparently no one; Princess was happy in her dreamland. ‘Eat alone’ was the only option!🙇🙇🙇
Baffled Mum indulged herself in TV. Finally, at 11 pm the hunger pangs in tiny tummy pleaded for a refill. Mom happily put grains in a sleepy mouth spoon by spoon. The tum got full and the monster was awakened. 👻👻👻
Mother needed to rest; tomorrow again it’s a working day. She put off light with thousand questions from the tiny tot and countless worries in her mind…😱😱😱
The home work! 😵😵
We have to get up early.
The uniform! Is it tidy enough to be worn one more day?
What am I gonna give her in her tiffin?
I should have washed the other uniform as well?
Have I bolted all doors? The lights, the gas?
Have I paid all the bills?
Oh I didn’t prepare for tomorrow’s lecture!
What am I going to wear tomorrow? Which bag? Which shoes?
I hope the maid comes on time!
And in the mean time she sleeps…
Only to wake up with a jerk.
What time is it? Oh time to leave this coziness. Looking at the clock, Is there any harm in snoozing for five minutes?
Wake up…wake up mommy! An inner voice says, and there she was…running a daily sprint.
Rush…run…catch the van…run… get ready…rush…run…run….
No time to rest mommy!🏃🏃
Many of us, at some stage of our life, curse our parents for giving us the ‘Name’ that we have, especially during teenage we are much concious about it. We always believe that it could have been better had they thought a little more…atleast better than this!!!!
We keep chewing the cud, and one day we realise that this is what it is and we have to live with it. Ofcourse many people go to the extent of changing their names as well. Brave ears!!! I just wonder how they respond to their old names once they switch!!!!
Anyways it’s their Problem! I already have made peace with my name. 😐😐
Then what encouraged this write up?
Here’s the thing.How do you respond when your four something gal comes to you and says,”Mamma, Please change my name! I don’t like it.”
What are you supposed to do?
I mean we took a lot of time…thinking…discussions…and then on the pious occasion of Diwali, she was named after Goddess Laxmi (the goddess tending money 🤓)…oh don’t think otherwise, we in India actually worship this Goddess on the festival of light, Diwali, and moreover, her grandparents announced her arrival to this world as ‘Laxmi aayehe he…’Laxmi has arrived’. So how can she just not like it???
There is lot of hard work, devotion and emotions after naming her, and now she is not liking it!!!😮😮😮
Anyway, just to keep her calm, I said,”then by what name would you like to be known, sweetheart?”
“How is Rupenzel?” She immediately said as if waiting desperately for this.
“Nooo! But she had loooooong hair. Look at yours, hardly coming in a rubberband!” I discouraged the suggestion.😋😋
“Then Cinderella?” She got little nervous.
Poor kid. Can’t think outside her imaginary world.
“No, How am I gonna call you? It doesn’t go well on my tongue,” I again rejected the plea. (Gosh, I am a bad mom😥😥)
“It is so tough mommy! What name should I choose?” She got sad.
“Think…there are more heroines in your fairy tales,” I said to cheer her up.
“Decided, my new name is going to be ‘Snow-white’! You like it ma?”
Munching on to the biscuit, I said, “Okay! But I’ll call you Snow. Is that fine?”
“Yes mamma! Snow white…Snow,” She said smilingly, “Now let’s find a new name for you too.”
“No, I am cool beta!” I took another bite from the cookie.
“What’s the name of the biscuit that you are eating?” (Children are weird, they ask random questions 😏😏)
“It’s Marie Light!” I flipped the pack to show her.
“Wow! Mamma, Daughter, Snow-white, and Mother, Marie Light!!! How’s that? Isn’t your new name awesome? She was happy, So I could not object.
I only said,”But call me Marie haan!“😍😍
So people, as you see, unofficially…our names have been changed. Mann is Marie and her Glowingal…she is Snow.😁😁😁😁😁
You think you are doing great as mother!!!
There are people who can bring you down any time of the day.
They just have to say, “For their kids, mothers do this, mothers do that and what not!”
In short according to them, these hypothetical mothers do those very little things ‘you don’t’!!!
And you are like, “What about the things I do???? Why don’t you ever notice that????”
Why people keep judging you for things which are none of their business?
I mean, come on!!!
Mother is ‘real’, not some copy paste command!!!
Leave her alone for God sake!!!
Give her a break!!!!!
Mom or supermom, That’s the question!!!!
Ever been part of this competition which is going on in the modern world?
Every woman is in a race to present herself as the best possible mother to her kids which is good thing; kids are getting enormous attention as a bonus 😜😜 but do you ever think how stressful it is for mothers?????😨😨No you don’t!!! You just air the ideas and get doting mothers to business! 🙅🙅🙅
There was an invitation rather obligation from Glowingal’s new School for a mandatory appearance on the occasion of Mother’s day precelebration. Not just a common appearance; mothers were expected to show some swag 👸 if not gifted with a talent or so!!!
Thoughtfully I chose first; it’s easy for me.😊😊But it became rather complex; they needed two swaggers (👭) together in similar attire even the colour should match, and option was limited to INDIAN ONLY. What is this?
Anyways we managed it and walked on the ramp…hand in hand and with our charisma, won many hearts. 💞💞Proudly we made our position in top five finalist as well. No wonder this mother would have won the ‘race’ for smartest mother, had my pretty pink partner remained stuck to her choices!!!
Oh…poor mommy was surprised to see that her daughter’s favourite colour had changed to yellow from pink (I mean since when???), and ShinChen replaced Doreman as her preferred cartoon character!!!!😱😱😱
I knew I was going to loose it…the race…to be the smartest mom!!!! 👹👹
Do I feel bad???
Yes I do!!!🙇🙇
Not for the title you swift minds, but the gift pack which the winner received…And nobody’ll ever know,’what was inside!’😢😢
Oh…Jokes apart…I didn’t feel bad at all. I am friends with failure. 😏😏
Yeah, it’s good to be competitive and get our heads into such events once in a while but should we depend upon others for telling us, ‘How good we are as mothers or as humans for that matter?’
Motherhood is a beautiful, demanding, and unique journey for each one of us…we make mistakes…we stumble…we learn…we become better…and then we make new mistakes…learning a new lesson everytime. That’s how it goes as per my experience and I believe, it’s the truest tale of all.
I don’t think any mother can be perfect (no offence…every mother’s love is PERFECT, without any question)!
Though she is always looking for ways to be perfect…tirelessly and trust me…there are many… undiscovered, unused ways…🤔🤔
So Mommies! Keep looking…keep improving and keep loving cause that’s what mothering is all about…
And yay…I am needed somewhere!!! Let me go and clean all the makeup mess that Glowingal just created; She looks horrible with all the smudged eye makeup!!!!😲😲😲
Happy Mothering all!😊😊😊
that’s why fine parenting is not everyone’s cup of tea.
You either lose your cool 😫😫 or there are chances that you’ll lose interest 😩😩
Then there are situations when kids put you in awkward situations in front of people…
My Glowingal is a huge dance enthusiast.Trying to be a considerate mom, I searched a dance school in this new place. After working all the details, I told mom-in-law to drop her to dance class as I had some work engagements.
But eventually I ended up picking her up early cause princess didn’t even enter the class!!!
why don’t kids respect their parents’ decisions??? 🤔🤔Oh, she is too little for that!!!
When I asked the reason she said,” who teachs dance like this mamma? I don’t like it. I’ll never go there.”
Ahaan!!! There you go.
Less than 5 years of existence and this tiny girl uses her right to say NO better than me!🤔🤔
and dare to turn it to YES! I BETTER NOT!😁😁😁 especially in a public place!!!
I sensed the mood, held her hand and walked home. On the way tried various mother tricks to know the root cause, and voila! I found it.😮😮
“Why this school is so far Ma? I can’t walk! I get tired,” She complained with the sweetest face in the world.
My Waxy heart melted.
“I see. Is that the reason for your refusal?”
“Yes.please send me somewhere near…”
“Okay! Why not sweetie!”
And she went to the same dance school next day.🤓🤓
PS. She managed to sit there for one complete hour. I won’t let my hard work go waste. 😌😌 However it’ll take some more days to see my monkey actually jumping. I am in no hurry…this mom has tons of patience…and I am still growing it 🙋🙋
These days, I am having a whole lot of ‘our time’ with my Glowingal 😇😇 and undenyingly, I am much in a ‘habit-correcting’ mode right now 🤓🤓. (What???? Don’t give mo those looks!!! Mom will always be mom 😊😊😊).
For a long time I have been using a trick to deal with my overly naugthy kid who obviously is very sensitive also. Whenever I want her to do something and she seems adamant, I simply utter,
“Do it to a count of five or…” and then I just start counting…one…two…three…
By the time I reach four she is like I am doing it mamma…and before I say five…she jumps, “I have done it!”💃💃
And I am like wow! I NEVER THOUGHT COUNTING IS SUCH A MARVELLOUS TOOL!!!🙆🙆
However I am equally amazed as to what actually she thinks, would happen after FIVE????
Anyways, I am not exploring right now…this tool is like a magic wand; very handy and harmless. Atleast a mother can catch a breath while the spell is on…
And…Let’s not think about the day when she won’t even move after hearing FIVE…cause even I don’t know what after that!!!!!😁😁😁