Compliment is a rejuvenating food to one’s soul. Whenever given and received wholeheartedly; it has enormous power of illuminating lives. A sincere compliment means genuine efforts are appreciated and simultaneously keeps up the zeal of working on your flaws and become a better human; Physically, Mentally and Socially. But this very compliment can change its perspective altogether if given in the form of a ‘Comment’.
There is a very fine line which demarcate the two, whereas compliment is always beaming with positive radiations; comments totally mar the energy of the donor as well as receiver. It takes a great deal of tactics to make a comment absolutely piercing and penetrating while putting on a normal face. On the other hand it’s entirely a thorny job for the receiver to comprehend the comment and stay calm. Sometimes one erupts and sometimes it’s better to keep quiet for the reason that one wrong word can create undesirably malicious environment which is non-conducive at all.
Everyone goes through such a situation in life, once in a while and expectedly the responses vary from person to person (I have faced it too, few times I exploded and many times I preferred to keep mum, at-least for that moment.) There are times when you are being targeted for things of remote concern to you. People point at you with such confidence in their voice that you become suspicious of your own deeds, “Have I actually wronged them?”
There are times you decide to leave and there are times you decide to hang on and listen to all the bullshit. These accusers are real artists; they can easily defy a typical Indian mother-in-law, in the way they pass the comments (you know it’s you who they are talking about) but can’t say anything as the monologues contain no names! Afterwards, you are left with that numbness in the brain and that isolation in a crowd. If it starts affecting your work, that simply means, “It’s time for introspection!”
It’s unbelievable that people project you as some ‘powerful vamp’. Former is certainly a compliment but the tone made you a vamp too (hence it’s not definitely a compliment!). They start cleaning their linen in public. They leave no stone unturned to pull you down (indirectly). It’s really hard not to lose your cool in such circumstances but you try consoling yourself, “It’s a conflict of Attitude, Approach and Self-esteem, my dear. You have some standards set and don’t even think of lowering them.”
Entering an argument is the easiest way out but not a wise one, in-fact it will exaggerate the situation afterward. Being an Educated and Intellectual person, you should deal with such situation intelligently. Your ultimate goal is to be Happy, Satisfied and In-peace with the inner self; therefore it’s better if you concentrate on that and react accordingly.
The best thing that you can do is to identify such schmuks and erase them altogether (not literally) by denying their existence in your day to day life.
If they think you do possess ‘some power’, then its time that they see you possessing and using IT i.e. the power to nullify them and for that…you definitely deserve a compliment.
When we wear something new, admit it or not but there is a secret wish to get noticed; and showered with compliments. There are times when it happens and then there are times it doesn’t. It all depends on the variety of people we meet, in our day to day life. Some of them are really interesting and some make your life more interesting with their responses. Well I am wearing a new Palazzo toady. See, how I get noticed, complimented and commented:
“What is it that you are wearing today?”
“Oh this! (That’s me, pretending to have forgotten), ‘This is Palazzo’ (As if she doesn’t know), I continued…”I bought it during my recent shopping spree. I must tell you that it’s very comfortable to wear specially in such hot and humid weather. Being teachers, we are supposed to wear sober clothes and this totally works for me.”
(Such big explanation, why? Just because you dared to wear something, out of the routine).
“I thought it’s for night wear.”
(If you think so, then it’s your problem dear, not mine).
“I never saw people pairing it with a kurti. I mean girls pair it with a top.” (Well… Just because you don’t know anything, doesn’t mean things don’t exist. Go update your fashion sense).
“I have seen ones with less flare, it is too bulky to handle, it seems.”
(Man…I know that. I bought it for some reason and I can handle it, okay).
Then there are a few who don’t have a heart to say anything but their eyes do all the talking. They kind of dissect you from head to toe. I know, it’s funny to describe such a conversation but I am kind of enjoying it. There is another variety having tremendous control over their reflexes. Therefore you, yourself have to start a conversation to get noticed. See how…
Me: Hi! How are you doing?
She: Fine, it is the heat though, which is killing.
Me: Yeah, but I don’t feel it today somehow… may be just because I am wearing ‘this’ today (pointing to the palazzo).
She: Oh yes, I was thinking… that you look great in this new outfit. I must tell you that whatever you wear; suits you. If I wear something like this; I would look horrible, for sure.
(There you are, confused of course. Was it a compliment or a comment? Hmmm…I prefer to go with the former.) (What? I am very optimistic 😁 ).
Although my profession limits me to a few clothing options but this doesn’t stop me from experimenting. Sometimes I come out with flying colors and sometimes it turns out to a big boo-boo. Whatever… it’s not going to stop me from exploring the artistic side of me. I’ll keep experimenting and continue to get noticed and complimented. So… what is the next thing on cart…?