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Don’t Marry For Goddess Sake!!!!

Do you think Marriage is ‘just’ the consensual union of two persons?

bWell…Not at least in my country! More than this, here, it’s a socially and ritually recognised coming together of two partners which in addition to love also establishes rights and obligations between them, and between them and their In-laws, and not to forget, the relatives!

It’s complicated as majority of us actually like these customs, and go miles to maintain a ‘preset’ social image. The couple remain too busy tending ‘important’ relations that it gives them quite some time off each other. Possibly these potent distractions have contributed to ‘one-life, one-life partner’ concept, prevalent here (you spend less time with each other which is by default the ‘quality’ time 🙂 ). Though, variations do occur but yeah, the expectations are heavier on the side of a ‘SHE’.

It’s rather hilarious that the moment a girl is chosen for the wedding, she is paralleled to Lakshmi (the Goddess of wealth). There’s no harm in that but after all, the girl is compared to a Goddess, and the Goddess is obviously expected to shower bounty of riches in every possible form. Undoubtedly, the Bride-cum-Goddess is lost in a catch-22 situation as it difficult to satisfy the never-ending greed of the pack, and she is soon to run out of the resources. Minus-resources, she longingly looks towards her saviours, ‘her parents’ who are often seen desperate to fill her emptying cache. Receiving such inexhaustible boon, the people live happily ever after…well…not exactly…such people are never happy; the feeling is temporary, soon to fade!

I too am married and have seen plenty of marriages (simple and extravagant; successful and unsuccessful; happy and unhappy) in my culture and a few subcultures as well. Exceptions do occur, mind you! Not everyone is equally ‘insatiable’. I am one fortunate soul but marriage in itself is no less than an adventure from the very beginning!

Lately I got interested in researching the basic philosophy behind this marriage thing (so expect some more such articles 🙂 ), and here is the crux (and I believe many of my own culture people don’t know it!). In our sacred scriptures eight types of marriages are described, out of which ‘Braham Vivah’ is considered the ideal form of marriage between a Boy and a Girl from equal stature families. In this, Boy’s family approaches the girl’s family; No Dowry is involved; and the girl is accepted in two sets of clothes and a few ornaments. (It’s hard to spot these days as no girl wants to have such limited options 😉 ).

Our Shashtra also acknowledges Love marriages as a marriage which does not involve the consent of any of the parents. Interestingly, a marriage would also take place when everyone was ready except for the girl’s parents. (Past people were bolder, I tell you. People today are so confused, they don’t know their own history and keep condemning love marriage for no good reason except for breaking some hearts 😦 ).

None of the eight marriage types revealed anything in particular about the much hyped Dowry from bride’s side however when the Boy is either not of equal stature or is deficient in some nature, it is said that he used to pay the girl’s family (reverse of present day Dowry).

So basically this unnecessary burden of dowry is added later on by some clever minded folks. What else justifies this evil?

One of my colleague said that earlier both the families used to contribute positively in some form so that the newlywed couple could settle their home; it was a kind of help but slowly this became an obligation to be born only by the girl’s family.

Having a son is still considered a privilege by many. This is partly because our system still works on family ties, and the ageing parents still hope to be taken care by the son during the dusk of their life.

Okay fine, I have no problem with that. What I wonder ‘Is it some  of fee that a girl’s parents pay in advance to buy a pass for their daughter to enter your home? And then she is also expected to take care of you more than her own parents!’

Surprisingly a girl manages to do it somehow but don’t you think it’s too mean for an expectation!

(*This post is author’s personal view on the matter and is not targeted at any special person. Day to day observations and ‘the willing’ but ‘confused’ ‘to-be-wed’ people inspired this write-up)

LIFE: Leave ‘IF’ and Live ‘IT’

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What do you call that ‘thing’ when you come so close to success and then… you just don’t make it!

And not only once but say…countless times….

The first thing that comes to mind is obviously…lack of sincerity in the preparation to reach your goal!

Yeah that’s the best possible cause but…did you notice…I said… so close (Picture me, making a gesture with my thumb and index finger) and how come every-time!!!

No one would be naive to always reach a specific ‘near-win’ point and then just give up!

Then what goes wrong?

I call it D-E-S-T-I-N-Y…a thing mostly denied still trusted by all with our full heart!

They say destiny is fixed beforehand…whether we like it or not…we are going to eventually end up…where we are supposed to be. That doesn’t mean we stop doing things considering all our efforts may go in vain.…Even if we sometime think of doing so, that again will lead us to the place where we ought-to-be!

Ever tried fighting your destiny?

Trust me, I have…No use!

So…lesson learned…WHEN IT’S TIME, EVERYTHING WILL FALL IN ITS PLACE AUTOMATICALLY.

Till then No worry, No stress, and No daydreaming!

All you have to do is…

Wake up with-a-start every morning,

 Look fabulous throughout the day,

Work tirelessly till the sundown and beyond,

And every night sleep with a wonderment,

“What would tomorrow be like?”

 

Happy Teacher’s Day

First Week of September has been awesome till now! First the birthday bash and now the Teacher’s Day Celebration. It’s Gala time folks…

I always knew that I am a good hard working teacher but as good as to be able to touch young hearts, about this, I was kind of sceptical!

Just imagine when students walk over to you to tell you how special and significant role you play in their life, and  genuinely, their actions speak louder than their words… You feel elated, confident and proud… as if something’s been accomplished! 🙂

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This was the best thing to hear on this special day. It’s one thing to adore a teacher but to convey the feeling in plain words,  without  buttering  up…I am amazed how students do that!

I just wonder why we loose this innocence and clarity of thoughts over time and start keeping our feelings to ourselves. Why don’t we let loose…why don’t we ‘be’ what we ‘are’ and show what we actually feel! Why there has to be pretending?

No matter how much we pretend…the truth somehow manages to  show up saying- ‘Happiness increases if we share, and Love multiplies if Care… and…

this is no ‘secret’ but a proven ‘mantra’ for a happy fulfilling life.

So on a happy note,

Cheers to sanctity of Teacher-Pupil Relationship since time immemorial. 🙂

Necessary… Cute… Evil.

Kids are a necessary evil.  If you don’t have them your life is empty; if you have them, you feel blessed but are definitely going to feel short of space soon ;).  

Bringing up children is more of a challenge than blessing, especially when your little one goes to school. Mother has to start school all over again and with a totally different perspective. My journey has just begun but I am all set. I belong to that breed of moms who are all armoured for every kind of situation; who don’t fear facing challenges! Win or loss…doesn’t matter.

Folks, my experiments with motherhood are going well. I am often showered with plenty of delightful moments fortified with unforeseen surprises (as bonus), and it seems unfair if I don’t share them with you.

My ‘GlowinGal’ is a piece in millions (I know every parent thinks the same 😉 ). She lives on extremes, sometimes behaving so sensible, leaving me aghast, and at times, she doesn’t miss any chance to make my blood boil; she keeps me on my toes. BUT I want to admit, my life incredibly INTERESTING and way too EXCITING, because of her ! 🙂

I am not a huge sports fan but last month when the entire world was hoping and fighting for medals in RIO, I too occasionally froze in front of the TV. Seeing the enthusiasm and the sportsmanship of the participants, I thought we should also try and focus on one sport for our daughter. Who knows, One day she might win a Medal for our country! 😉 (I just thought…remember.), and the thought passed with a new task waiting in the list.

Yesterday, when I came back home, she cheerfully welcomed me glowing golden with a Medal around her neck. I was like, “what is this for?”

“Ma, I got first position in Summer Holiday Homework!” She chirped.

“Really!” (I thought, I wasn’t as good as the other mothers. Have I outperformed them?)

I guess YES, and here is the proof. 😉

Enough kidding! I am in competition with no one. I just want to be good enough. Her little achievements make me more confident every-time, and I feel like going a step further…But I also know that I am a human and possibly not a PERFECT one.

But I am doing great and I am happy with that! 🙂

 

Find…What’s Missing!

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You don’t feel happy always, and likewise, you can’t stay gloomy forever, for these are states of mind in response to the environmental conditions that you face. If you are getting what you need, there’s no point in feeling sad, but what about desires?

Has it ever happened that you own everything a happy person is supposed to have, and still you feel empty inside, as if there’s something missing…something you haven’t achieved till now, and that something constantly keeps disturbing the peace of your mind! How do you deal with this?

Well, I can tell for myself; Monotony is the root cause of mine not-being-happy at times. I hate doing the same things over and over again. Without any scope of novelty, life becomes dull…colourless! And when this dullness crosses the limit, I temporarily lose interest in people and things in general. But fact is, routine life has to run; it’s necessary for survival. Every day, we wake up at a set time, do the same domestic tasks, rush to office, do the same stuff, come back…do the house job…look after our family…sleep…wake up again to the same routine.

These activities have become so natural that we behave less like humans, and more like robots. But again robots have an advantage here; they don’t feel what they do. On the contrary, the side effects of monotony starts showing in our behaviour!

So, when I start making issues out of trivial things; when my arguing becomes pretty frequent, and when I start complaining for treatments I rightfully deserve and don’t receive, I know it’s time for an ‘alteration’ (an addition or a deletion from the routine). This is my way of breaking the ennui. Sometimes I succeed, and at times it doesn’t work, but I keep trying.

What I feel is that mostly the environment around us decides how happy we are! No doubt we all have this inner power to always boost and keep us going but there are times when we are really tired of pushing ourselves, and an external source of inspiration is indispensable, and I think, this is where the role of family and friends comes to play. If we are blessed with loving people, life is easier, and if these people have a tendency of not keeping their love to themselves, I mean they believe in showing it, life becomes ‘interesting’ and ‘exciting’ as well!

Sometime people unknowingly mishandle their relations. Instead of giving love, they start distributing solutions! Do you think ‘Unhappiness’ is a problem to be solved? I don’t think so! According to me, it’s actually a void which needs to be filled. My genuine request to everyone ‘Please show your people some love, and don’t just show that you care by offering free advice…DO CARE, for you don’t know when a few loving words from you can make a big difference in their life! 🙂

In the end, hats off to those people who survive all the ups and downs of life all by themselves; with no one by their side, ever to inspire them or encourage them; they are really made up of something else!

Photo credit:

What is the missing link? - Albuquerque, New Mexico

We Are Friends For…I don’t know how long! But If You Stay, I’ll Say… Forever !

Best Buds, You And I.. #friendship #quotes:

Friends are the siblings born to different parents, I have heard!

Last evening while roaming on the terrace, and alongside watching my daughter (soon-to-be-four) play with a boy from neighbourhood, I had to face an amusing situation. They were playing with toy cars, talking, giggling, rolling on the floor, and having great time. Suddenly my ‘GlowinGal’ took a pause, and came running to me, “Ma…Ma, I want to marry Namit?”

I was not expecting it, so, avoiding an exaggeration, I said, “Okay”. And off see went.

After that, leaving all the toys aside, the two started assembling wooden pieces and piling them up in some pattern known only to them.

“What’s going on kids?” I got curious.

“We are making home!” they responded without looking.

“Ahaan!” And before I could say anything else, GlowinGal started dancing.

“Now what’s it with you?” I got amazed.

“Aren’t we supposed to dance in our marriage”, she said in-between the moves.

(Well, I just heard that she wanted to marry this friend of her but she wanted it this soon, I had no idea 😉 !). I let her.

Cute Quotes About Lifelong Friends

And it’s funny that she forgot about it…completely, the very next day…He again was just a friend ;).

Next day, we were having mother-daughter conversation, “Darling, whom do you sit with in your Nursery class?”

“Rudra!” She said with a sparkle in her eyes.

I continued, “And who’s your best friend?”

“It’s Rudra Ma!”

Not for once did she mention the name of the boy she was planning to get married the previous evening. It’s a good thing that kids have a short memory otherwise by the time they actually become adults, they would be married, like zillion times ;).

“Rudra is a boy No! Don’t you have any girl-friend?” (I meant, girl as a friend)

“No!” She said in a low tone.

“Why?” I got worried. “What about Navya? Isn’t she a friend?”  

“But she sits with Athrava,” She said looking up.

“So?” (I was trying to have a conversation here 😉 )

“She’s his girl-friend Ma!” She revealed.

“Oh, so does that mean, you are Rudra’s girlfriend?”

“Yes and He’s my boyfriend Mamma!”

I was speechless but could not stop laughing :). (You might be so sure my little sweetheart but I am not sure about it!)

{It’s amazing how innocent childhood is! Kids don’t know what relations are all about.  I bet at some point of our life even we have thought of many stupid things. As a kid, many of us wished to marry our papa , isn’t it? Anyways, no one takes kids seriously, may be that’s why adults keep saying ‘No Kidding’!}

Seriously, I am not kidding now. we all meet countless people in life, a few of them become are friends and very few of them manage to stay till the end. Some are just fillers, so lost in the oblivion; those close-to-hearts always stay in memories and some special ones keep making our days brighter every now and then.

Sometimes All You Need Is Friends friends best friends friendship quotes minion minion quotes minion quotes and sayings:

Let’s Cherish the ones who are still there.

To my friends: I am glad I met you. Happy Friendship Day folks!

Keep smiling :).

Mann

 

Picture credits:

http://quotesgram.com/img/cute-quotes-about-lifelong-friends/ZTthTGJm6A/

https://in.pinterest.com

 

 

Care for a Cac-tale?

When I was inside my mother, many a times, I heard her humming. A sound which gave the hint of happiness and I started to imagine how beautiful the world outside would be! I was waiting for the day of my first rendezvous with the world so happy.
Mother kept me protected in layers and I had to literally push my way out, to have an idea. To my surprise, there was nothing! Not even my very own mother! It was just me , of-no-more-use, mother’s cocoon, and the never-ending barren surroundings. I was alone.

I shouted, “Hey, anybody here!

Shooom…!

A voice crossed my side. I turned immediately. No one was there, I only saw huge masses rising up in the sky and covering everything. From where was that sound coming? I had no clue! I was alone in the barren land and I wondered what made mother sing with joy, I didn’t see anything to be happy about.I wished mother was with me but she might have fallen prey to this strange phenomenon. So, it seemed I was doomed to live alone.

One day, I happened to have the company of two birds who landed near me. I helped them quench their thirst and asked them where they were heading towards?
We are going to the other end of this desert.
You call this place desert!”
Everyone does! Why are you so surprised? You call it something else!
No, I mean, actually, I never had someone to tell me this. I have been all alone.
Oh that’s terrible. Do you mind some help?
Please!”
Okay. Desert is a place where there is scarcity of everything. That explains why you don’t have company! We live in the western edge of this desert but now the eastern side is flourishing so, we are going on a vacation to enjoy the bounty of Nature.”
I was looking as they talked. How I wished to see the world they are part of, but with my life, it wasn’t possible.
What happened little bud?
Nothing! I was thinking… how is it like on the other side?
Do you want to see it?
Well…
Two birds looked at each other and stepped toward me. Next when I came back to senses, I was in a world which existed, not even in my dreams. I started humming just like my mother.
So this is the place, where my mother used to live! Such a happy place! I wished I could dance right now. I never thought such a world actually existed. But, there I was!
The sun was no more scorching, I had shade; I had company though no one ever showed interest in knowing me. Possibly, they were busy in their own life. They were beautiful, without a doubt. People adored them by stopping near them. Then they would give me an inferior look; my breath would stop to hear what they had to say, “Where did you get it from? It’s eerie. Keep your children away or they’ll get hurt!
Now that’s rude! Why would someone say that?
But the fact is I was really an abandoned being. No one cared if I needed something or not! I just stayed there like a THING. I never again felt the same happiness as the first day in this new world.
Being alone in the desert was bad but being lonely in company, is worst.
I was becoming grumpy. One day, I was staring at kids having fun in the garden, and their ball bounced and stopped near me. One sweet kid came to collect the ball, he stopped for a moment, and turned towards me. He kept looking at me and started smiling. I was moved by his gesture.
He likes me!” I was overjoyed.
He started moving towards me; I opened my arms. The happiness was too much to handle and don’t know when, I subconsciously closed my eyes.
Bang!” He lost his balance and soon I found myself lying on the ground.
What did you broke?” A woman came rushing from inside the house. “Oh you naughty kids!”

The kid complained, “Mom, I got hurt!
How?” She came near.
The boy pointed towards me.
Oh, I knew this would happen. I told your father not to allow ‘this thing’ in our house. But he never listens. Show me where you got hurt?
I am fine now,” he said and disappeared.
The woman corrected the mess, she was about to give me a hand but she stopped, “Oh never mind. You don’t need this. You’ll be fine on your own.” However she erected her favourites, caressed them, brought them back to normal by offering them water, smiled, and finally vanished.

In the middle of a crowd, I was left thinking-

What if I am born in tough conditions?
What if I am meant to be strong?
What if I can survive anything?
I too need love and care
As much as anyone else!
And just so you know
I am a thorny Cactus
Strong in appearance
Supple inside….

and

this is my story.

Photo credit:

www.pinterest.com

 

Etiquettes Sound Good When Reciprocated

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Every one loves etiquettes. But there are times when you feel like forgetting all of them and just tighten your fist and punch someone in the face real hard – however unpleasant the consequences!

And without any doubt, such times aren’t very uncommon with myriad annoying people around and you are bound to lose your cool. It’s not easy to control the actual emotions but there is always a probability of landing yourself in much trouble than you already are in. Therefore, you somehow manage to wear a smiling face and let go.

But at the same time, inside, you wonder how spineless people manage to obtain positions or is it other way around, only spineless people manage to get positions. I don’t know but when I see people changing colours, often my blood starts boiling and countless questions start disturbing the peace of my mind:

Why is it so that they don’t have a voice of their own?

Why do they find it difficult to differentiate right from wrong?

Why they always work like puppets and that too when they have nothing to lose?

Are they suffering from some deficiency of Grey matter?

Fine! Sometimes everyone faces a catch-22 situation but always! This is no helplessness; it’s their real self. It’s their bloody nature to make things complicated for others and once you nod to a settlement there are good chances of recurrence.

Sometime you feel like a complete misfit everywhere. You can sense loneliness in a crowd; no one, however close, seems helpful. There’s ubiquitous darkness, frustration, anger and shock.

You just feel like closing your eyes and magically hope someone to take care of everything; settle the chaos for you to wake up to a smooth happy and wonderful life having a conducive ambiance with credible people, all around.

But as you know, miracles are rare (if any). So you don’t have anyone but yourself to make the amendments and convert the present adversity into an opportunity.

That way it hurts less!

Three days,Three Quotes Challenge: 3rd Day

Today is the last day of my Three day,three quote challenge.

If you are interested in seeing the quotes for the last two days you are more than welcome to visit here, 1st day and 2nd day.

First of all it’s thanks giving time. So Thank you, Parveen and Kevin, for nominating me for the Three day,three quotes challenge. They have been very honest and regular visitors on AlpenGlow but I have been noticing since the day I acknowledged this, their visits have actually declined…Haha. Well, I was trying to be funny but don’t take this as a joke when I say they are  frabjous bloggers and incredible human beings. I would suggest you check out their amazing blogs.

Here are the rules:

  1. Post 3 quotes on 3 consecutive days
  2. Thank the person who nominated you
  3. Nominate 3 new bloggers each single day of the challenge.

Quote for today is “TODAY ” itself  🙂

present-is-the-gift

And I am transferring the task of sharing and caring to three new people I have met recently here in the blogosphere.

And the name is…

No… it’s not Bond 😉

Jillian

Mariflies

byluis

I am done with the challenge.

Have fun.

Here’s Mann 🙂

Three day,three quote challenge: 2nd Day

Let Them GO!

I am on a challenge and all  thanks to  two gentlemen, Parveen and Kevin, who have nominated me for the Three day,three quote challenge. They are wonderful bloggers without a doubt. You can check their amazing blogs and See How true is it?

Here are the rules:

  1. Post 3 quotes on 3 consecutive days
  2. Thank the person who nominated you
  3. Nominate 3 new bloggers each single day of the challenge.

I was reading a post of a fellow blogger who talked about the temporary friendship and the hurt it causes. So today I am in preaching mood. How about this:

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And now the usual nomination thing. I am nominating the bloggers who discovered and followed ME recently in this huge ocean of uncertainty. My nominees for the challenge are:

Tyler

poppies and popcorn

The Shameful Sheep 

And one more thing…… You can swear to their faithfulness. (Of DOGS ;), You hopeful expecting soul!)

Much Faith.

Mann