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Necessary… Cute… Evil.

Kids are a necessary evil.  If you don’t have them your life is empty; if you have them, you feel blessed but are definitely going to feel short of space soon ;).  

Bringing up children is more of a challenge than blessing, especially when your little one goes to school. Mother has to start school all over again and with a totally different perspective. My journey has just begun but I am all set. I belong to that breed of moms who are all armoured for every kind of situation; who don’t fear facing challenges! Win or loss…doesn’t matter.

Folks, my experiments with motherhood are going well. I am often showered with plenty of delightful moments fortified with unforeseen surprises (as bonus), and it seems unfair if I don’t share them with you.

My ‘GlowinGal’ is a piece in millions (I know every parent thinks the same 😉 ). She lives on extremes, sometimes behaving so sensible, leaving me aghast, and at times, she doesn’t miss any chance to make my blood boil; she keeps me on my toes. BUT I want to admit, my life incredibly INTERESTING and way too EXCITING, because of her ! 🙂

I am not a huge sports fan but last month when the entire world was hoping and fighting for medals in RIO, I too occasionally froze in front of the TV. Seeing the enthusiasm and the sportsmanship of the participants, I thought we should also try and focus on one sport for our daughter. Who knows, One day she might win a Medal for our country! 😉 (I just thought…remember.), and the thought passed with a new task waiting in the list.

Yesterday, when I came back home, she cheerfully welcomed me glowing golden with a Medal around her neck. I was like, “what is this for?”

“Ma, I got first position in Summer Holiday Homework!” She chirped.

“Really!” (I thought, I wasn’t as good as the other mothers. Have I outperformed them?)

I guess YES, and here is the proof. 😉

Enough kidding! I am in competition with no one. I just want to be good enough. Her little achievements make me more confident every-time, and I feel like going a step further…But I also know that I am a human and possibly not a PERFECT one.

But I am doing great and I am happy with that! 🙂

 

Lost and Found

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In this journey called life, you meet countless people but not many stay, forever. Exactly when, you start to have the best time together, something weird happens drifting them apart, for no significant reason, as if this was it! Even distant, you still try to stay in-touch or at-least informed of their well-being but inside you know the magic is fading, bit-by-bit.

You miss them tremendously in the beginning, for, there is a massive vacuum, sucking your soul all the time. You wish, you pray for things to be undone but truth is life has moved on and…there is one more truth… humans are humans…so it’s not surprising that you also find reasons to move on.

Have you ever stopped and thought, even once that have you really moved on?

We think that we have moved on but truth is bizarre. We mostly end up finding similar kind of people, we left or lost. In a crowd of myriad faces, we unknowingly/unintentionally bump into the same material in a different package. So in a way, we are always there, where it all started.

May be that’s Nature’s way of making up to the loss…

It was a Final Goodbye

On Sunday, all happy souls on Earth were celebrating the presence of GOD’s Greatest gift in their life; their mothers. And there was I, fighting immense numbness spread to the innermost point of my nerves. Two days back, my family lost its Mother, my ‘Granny’─ my ‘Amma’. She passed away silently leaving everyone in a state of disbelief. After a long period of seeing her like this (ailing), it’s difficult to swallow, her, just not being there.

Has she really gone? I am still not able to make peace with it. To assure myself, I thought of going to her room, in a hope to still see her sitting in her bent posture. I hoped as soon I would open the door, she would raise her head and I would hug her. But I was afraid. Afraid… to see a vacant room. So, I stayed far and chose to go blind on the truth.

This day was sure to come, sooner or later but the way I responded, was bizarre. I consider myself very emotional kind of person but on hearing about her demise, I could hardly cry…I wanted to but tears won’t come out of my eyes. This is scary. Why am I not able to cry aloud? Have I gone through some nervous damage or have I become a robot with no emotions left. I am totally numb, as if nothing of this sort has happened! But truth is, Granny is Gone and I am never going to see her again.

My parents say that soul is immortal and only her body has died. They believe that Amma is still around; she is watching us all through, at least for ten days after leaving the body, her soul will keep wandering around her family and belongings till all the rituals are done to make her after-life journey as comfortable as possible. Then all her past ties will break and she will be free to leave us, for good.

I don’t know, how true is that but while leaving home, I felt a strange emptiness inside as if I have forgotten something. Making a decision to face the reality, I removed my shoes and headed to her room. Gently pushing the door, I searched the entire room. A lamp is lit in the room in her memory and is well guarded and taken care of by her grandsons; my brothers. They never let it go off. Believing she is still there and there won’t be any next time, I said, “Amma! (If you are really somewhere, in here) I could not meet you in the end. I guess it’s time to say Goodbye now. Be at peace. I pray to GOD for showering his love on you and give you a perfect place in his abode. Have a peaceful Journey.

Fare well…Amma…Fare well.

 

Reminiscence

Reminiscence.600.1739140

Again, I saw you

still so charming and handsome,

with that piercing gaze

completely, robbing me.

Again, you left me

at the mercy of time

to shed the tears of loss

nearly, killing me….