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I Am No different!


‘I am mature and I am stronger emotionally’, this is what I have been telling myself for years.

How true is this?

I have always been the worst in handling emotions; my tears used to find meagre reasons to spill out. I have been vulnerable; I have been exceptionally weak. Even a slight blow would break my heart into pieces.

Did that affect anybody?

I guess nobody… except me!

So I changed myself or let’s say time changed me.

But have I really overcome those unsung hurricanes arising in the deepest part of me? Have I really become immune to the turbulence that life poses every now and then? Do the mishaps occurring everyday affect me less now?

Most of the time I believe so but why is it that an unfortunate incident or the sorrowful faces involving the loved ones always pull me down to where I started?  When there is suffering, I am utterly weak and badly in tears!

However I have gained courage over time to compose myself and get up again to face the truth (however ugly it is) but it does hurt.

So does that mean there’s nothing that can make you woe-proof?

Or is it necessary to become fragile once in a while in order to feel that you are actually ‘alive’ cause no reaction to a situation is definitely, not a ‘sign of life’!


Happy Teacher’s Day

First Week of September has been awesome till now! First the birthday bash and now the Teacher’s Day Celebration. It’s Gala time folks…

I always knew that I am a good hard working teacher but as good as to be able to touch young hearts, about this, I was kind of sceptical!

Just imagine when students walk over to you to tell you how special and significant role you play in their life, and  genuinely, their actions speak louder than their words… You feel elated, confident and proud… as if something’s been accomplished! 🙂


This was the best thing to hear on this special day. It’s one thing to adore a teacher but to convey the feeling in plain words,  without  buttering  up…I am amazed how students do that!

I just wonder why we loose this innocence and clarity of thoughts over time and start keeping our feelings to ourselves. Why don’t we let loose…why don’t we ‘be’ what we ‘are’ and show what we actually feel! Why there has to be pretending?

No matter how much we pretend…the truth somehow manages to  show up saying- ‘Happiness increases if we share, and Love multiplies if Care… and…

this is no ‘secret’ but a proven ‘mantra’ for a happy fulfilling life.

So on a happy note,

Cheers to sanctity of Teacher-Pupil Relationship since time immemorial. 🙂

Birth day is Going Happy (ly)

Ever met people avoiding a slightest noise over their birthdays! Yes I have; they let the day pass just like any other day. Not me folks! So hear me loud and clear…

Listen, beautiful people of this amazing world! Today’s my birthday and tell you what, I am having a blast. Credit goes to my gorgeous family─ at home and far, as well as the one at work. You all made me meet the ‘younger’ me, once again.

Birthday eve was made awesome by the bunch of sweet-smelling blossoms, carrying the message of friendship and understanding, from continents apart brother-in-law J. He also managed to send a lip-smacking black forest cake, which of course found its way down the gut of my enormously sweet-toothed ‘GlowinGal’ well before time ;). I could bar her just for 2 hrs and eventually gave up. So basically, I cut a pre-birthday cake…Haha.

The new day dawned with so much positive and a blissful mood. Thanks to so many loving and caring people! “I DEARLY VALUE YOUR GESTURE AND THANK YOU SINCERELY FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART.”

The most amazing part was when all my students wished me happiness, and actually gifted it wholeheartedly…I totally loved it. And an unexpectedly pleasant moment came when my final year students made me cut a scrumptious cake in the LAB itself…Wow, I didn’t expect that!

They are a darling bunch of bubbly youngsters. I see so much love in their eyes and treasure that. I consider myself fortunate to have such sweet people in my life. 🙂

Thank you people, for being there, and reminding that age is just a number but celebration of your existence every year, is a way to be grateful for everything that you have…for everything that you do!

So who’s wanna party tonight? 🙂

Find…What’s Missing!

Image result for What is missing

You don’t feel happy always, and likewise, you can’t stay gloomy forever, for these are states of mind in response to the environmental conditions that you face. If you are getting what you need, there’s no point in feeling sad, but what about desires?

Has it ever happened that you own everything a happy person is supposed to have, and still you feel empty inside, as if there’s something missing…something you haven’t achieved till now, and that something constantly keeps disturbing the peace of your mind! How do you deal with this?

Well, I can tell for myself; Monotony is the root cause of mine not-being-happy at times. I hate doing the same things over and over again. Without any scope of novelty, life becomes dull…colourless! And when this dullness crosses the limit, I temporarily lose interest in people and things in general. But fact is, routine life has to run; it’s necessary for survival. Every day, we wake up at a set time, do the same domestic tasks, rush to office, do the same stuff, come back…do the house job…look after our family…sleep…wake up again to the same routine.

These activities have become so natural that we behave less like humans, and more like robots. But again robots have an advantage here; they don’t feel what they do. On the contrary, the side effects of monotony starts showing in our behaviour!

So, when I start making issues out of trivial things; when my arguing becomes pretty frequent, and when I start complaining for treatments I rightfully deserve and don’t receive, I know it’s time for an ‘alteration’ (an addition or a deletion from the routine). This is my way of breaking the ennui. Sometimes I succeed, and at times it doesn’t work, but I keep trying.

What I feel is that mostly the environment around us decides how happy we are! No doubt we all have this inner power to always boost and keep us going but there are times when we are really tired of pushing ourselves, and an external source of inspiration is indispensable, and I think, this is where the role of family and friends comes to play. If we are blessed with loving people, life is easier, and if these people have a tendency of not keeping their love to themselves, I mean they believe in showing it, life becomes ‘interesting’ and ‘exciting’ as well!

Sometime people unknowingly mishandle their relations. Instead of giving love, they start distributing solutions! Do you think ‘Unhappiness’ is a problem to be solved? I don’t think so! According to me, it’s actually a void which needs to be filled. My genuine request to everyone ‘Please show your people some love, and don’t just show that you care by offering free advice…DO CARE, for you don’t know when a few loving words from you can make a big difference in their life! 🙂

In the end, hats off to those people who survive all the ups and downs of life all by themselves; with no one by their side, ever to inspire them or encourage them; they are really made up of something else!

Photo credit:

What is the missing link? - Albuquerque, New Mexico

My Sunshine, My Rain, My Mom


Mother is the most precious gift given to us by Almighty God.

A relation─so pure; so unselfish, and look at us! We hardly realise her true worth! The more ‘intellectual’ we become, the more we take her for granted. When was the last time that you hold your mother’s hand, looked straight in her eyes and asked, “How are you Ma?” I know she is yearning for this very little gesture from your side but I also know that you don’t have time for such a thing. You are always full of excuses, “Oh this is just show off. I love her and she knows it.” I agree she knows but doesn’t she deserve to be reassured that you acknowledge the selfless love that she showered on you all her life, more when you were voiceless and helpless?

In the past, I myself have many times said it to my mom, “You won’t understand Ma!” and now I understand that ‘look of her’ in the reaction. Yes, now I understand, because I am a mother. Motherhood has made me understand many things to which I never paid heed ever. I understand now why my Mom always smiled when my eyes met hers. Why she used to panic whenever I complained of recurring headaches in childhood. She would use myriad methods to heal her ailing daughter. She is a strong believer in things beyond science, and amazingly her logic always proved right.

I understand now why she walked beside papa−to make every effort to make our life comfortable. I understand why she scolded me at places− so that I learn to differentiate right from wrong. I also understand why she overlooked many of my silly mistakes − to save me from the fury of others.

Did she ever think of getting her share of love in return?

I don’t know but from my own little experience as mother, all I have learned is that a mother goes through a lot for her children, and she does everything not due to some ‘motive’ but purely out of love. Its not-at-all justified if we just forget to tell her that we are not even thankful to have her.

Miles apart, I miss that sleeping by mommy’s side especially on a sunny winter afternoon; it felt like the safest place in the world. Now I am grown up and busy in my own struggles of life.

It is sad that a girl is supposed to leave her house and the relations which gave meaning to her life, but should physical distance be a barrier for returning love to a mother whose love has shaped our lives?

 Let’s make our beautiful mothers feel special and tell them that they are precious and irreplaceable…No matter what!

Mom-Daughter Moment ;)

Do you know how difficult is it to make a kid sit and do homework during the summer vacations?

Just imagine, one evening you come back from work only to discover that ‘Glowingal’ has undone all your efforts. This is how your first response goes-

Then, you look at your better half (who proved ‘not-so-better’ this time) for an explanation.

He: She pleaded to carry the notebook to the day-care!

Me: And you allowed!

He: She didn’t listen!

Me: Come on honey! She is not even four. You could have distracted her.

He: As if it’s so easy!

Me: Easier than doing it all over again, I guess.

(Point to remember, there’s a reason, he is named Mr CoolHead)  😉

So after dissipating all the heat, I turned towards the destructive soldier.

Me: Baby, why did you carry the school Notebook there?

She: Papa gave me that! She immediately shifted all blame.

Me: No, I mean what was the need to carry it there?

She: I wanted to do the homework?

Me: Alone!

She: No. Vanshika helped me.

Me: How, by tearing all the pages? How sweet!

She: We were studying mamma! Look I have written this.

Me: Aahan…I can see that. You really did a great job. But now you’ll have to do it again, in a new copy.

She: I’ll do it mamma, in a new Copy, Yay!

And mamma melts…into a new avatar…






Care for a Cac-tale?

When I was inside my mother, many a times, I heard her humming. A sound which gave the hint of happiness and I started to imagine how beautiful the world outside would be! I was waiting for the day of my first rendezvous with the world so happy.
Mother kept me protected in layers and I had to literally push my way out, to have an idea. To my surprise, there was nothing! Not even my very own mother! It was just me , of-no-more-use, mother’s cocoon, and the never-ending barren surroundings. I was alone.

I shouted, “Hey, anybody here!


A voice crossed my side. I turned immediately. No one was there, I only saw huge masses rising up in the sky and covering everything. From where was that sound coming? I had no clue! I was alone in the barren land and I wondered what made mother sing with joy, I didn’t see anything to be happy about.I wished mother was with me but she might have fallen prey to this strange phenomenon. So, it seemed I was doomed to live alone.

One day, I happened to have the company of two birds who landed near me. I helped them quench their thirst and asked them where they were heading towards?
We are going to the other end of this desert.
You call this place desert!”
Everyone does! Why are you so surprised? You call it something else!
No, I mean, actually, I never had someone to tell me this. I have been all alone.
Oh that’s terrible. Do you mind some help?
Okay. Desert is a place where there is scarcity of everything. That explains why you don’t have company! We live in the western edge of this desert but now the eastern side is flourishing so, we are going on a vacation to enjoy the bounty of Nature.”
I was looking as they talked. How I wished to see the world they are part of, but with my life, it wasn’t possible.
What happened little bud?
Nothing! I was thinking… how is it like on the other side?
Do you want to see it?
Two birds looked at each other and stepped toward me. Next when I came back to senses, I was in a world which existed, not even in my dreams. I started humming just like my mother.
So this is the place, where my mother used to live! Such a happy place! I wished I could dance right now. I never thought such a world actually existed. But, there I was!
The sun was no more scorching, I had shade; I had company though no one ever showed interest in knowing me. Possibly, they were busy in their own life. They were beautiful, without a doubt. People adored them by stopping near them. Then they would give me an inferior look; my breath would stop to hear what they had to say, “Where did you get it from? It’s eerie. Keep your children away or they’ll get hurt!
Now that’s rude! Why would someone say that?
But the fact is I was really an abandoned being. No one cared if I needed something or not! I just stayed there like a THING. I never again felt the same happiness as the first day in this new world.
Being alone in the desert was bad but being lonely in company, is worst.
I was becoming grumpy. One day, I was staring at kids having fun in the garden, and their ball bounced and stopped near me. One sweet kid came to collect the ball, he stopped for a moment, and turned towards me. He kept looking at me and started smiling. I was moved by his gesture.
He likes me!” I was overjoyed.
He started moving towards me; I opened my arms. The happiness was too much to handle and don’t know when, I subconsciously closed my eyes.
Bang!” He lost his balance and soon I found myself lying on the ground.
What did you broke?” A woman came rushing from inside the house. “Oh you naughty kids!”

The kid complained, “Mom, I got hurt!
How?” She came near.
The boy pointed towards me.
Oh, I knew this would happen. I told your father not to allow ‘this thing’ in our house. But he never listens. Show me where you got hurt?
I am fine now,” he said and disappeared.
The woman corrected the mess, she was about to give me a hand but she stopped, “Oh never mind. You don’t need this. You’ll be fine on your own.” However she erected her favourites, caressed them, brought them back to normal by offering them water, smiled, and finally vanished.

In the middle of a crowd, I was left thinking-

What if I am born in tough conditions?
What if I am meant to be strong?
What if I can survive anything?
I too need love and care
As much as anyone else!
And just so you know
I am a thorny Cactus
Strong in appearance
Supple inside….


this is my story.

Photo credit:


Lost and Found


In this journey called life, you meet countless people but not many stay, forever. Exactly when, you start to have the best time together, something weird happens drifting them apart, for no significant reason, as if this was it! Even distant, you still try to stay in-touch or at-least informed of their well-being but inside you know the magic is fading, bit-by-bit.

You miss them tremendously in the beginning, for, there is a massive vacuum, sucking your soul all the time. You wish, you pray for things to be undone but truth is life has moved on and…there is one more truth… humans are humans…so it’s not surprising that you also find reasons to move on.

Have you ever stopped and thought, even once that have you really moved on?

We think that we have moved on but truth is bizarre. We mostly end up finding similar kind of people, we left or lost. In a crowd of myriad faces, we unknowingly/unintentionally bump into the same material in a different package. So in a way, we are always there, where it all started.

May be that’s Nature’s way of making up to the loss…

It was a Final Goodbye

On Sunday, all happy souls on Earth were celebrating the presence of GOD’s Greatest gift in their life; their mothers. And there was I, fighting immense numbness spread to the innermost point of my nerves. Two days back, my family lost its Mother, my ‘Granny’─ my ‘Amma’. She passed away silently leaving everyone in a state of disbelief. After a long period of seeing her like this (ailing), it’s difficult to swallow, her, just not being there.

Has she really gone? I am still not able to make peace with it. To assure myself, I thought of going to her room, in a hope to still see her sitting in her bent posture. I hoped as soon I would open the door, she would raise her head and I would hug her. But I was afraid. Afraid… to see a vacant room. So, I stayed far and chose to go blind on the truth.

This day was sure to come, sooner or later but the way I responded, was bizarre. I consider myself very emotional kind of person but on hearing about her demise, I could hardly cry…I wanted to but tears won’t come out of my eyes. This is scary. Why am I not able to cry aloud? Have I gone through some nervous damage or have I become a robot with no emotions left. I am totally numb, as if nothing of this sort has happened! But truth is, Granny is Gone and I am never going to see her again.

My parents say that soul is immortal and only her body has died. They believe that Amma is still around; she is watching us all through, at least for ten days after leaving the body, her soul will keep wandering around her family and belongings till all the rituals are done to make her after-life journey as comfortable as possible. Then all her past ties will break and she will be free to leave us, for good.

I don’t know, how true is that but while leaving home, I felt a strange emptiness inside as if I have forgotten something. Making a decision to face the reality, I removed my shoes and headed to her room. Gently pushing the door, I searched the entire room. A lamp is lit in the room in her memory and is well guarded and taken care of by her grandsons; my brothers. They never let it go off. Believing she is still there and there won’t be any next time, I said, “Amma! (If you are really somewhere, in here) I could not meet you in the end. I guess it’s time to say Goodbye now. Be at peace. I pray to GOD for showering his love on you and give you a perfect place in his abode. Have a peaceful Journey.

Fare well…Amma…Fare well.


Let Love Bloom, Spring Is Here

“Time and Weather can change anytime; so cherish, when good.”

Spring has already knocked our doors. The fields are blossoming with yellow attire of mustard flowers and the barren trees have started blooming green. The weather is amazingly pleasant. Birds are celebrating this jamboree of nature by singing myriad of songs in early morning.

A few days ago, we were shivering with freezing air coming from the hills. Now slowly the burden of woollen clothes is going lighter and lighter, day by day. In my opinion, this is the best time of the year. I know, all season have their own charm, even autumn is beautiful! I agree but spring brings along a lot of positivity, a hope, and a message for a fresh new start.

North Indians welcome spring with a festival called ‘Basant Panchami’. ‘Basant’ means Spring and it signifies the yellow mood of the season. Life becomes interesting once again after the gloominess of winters. When nature is all set for a celebration, how its creations can remain aloof? No-one wants to stay alone in this lovely season. Birds, animals and even humans are seen all drowned, head over heels, in the pool of love.

From my lab, I see Pigeons singing ‘Gootr-Goo’ and wooing the females for courtship by showing their dancing skills. They symbolize peace but one interesting thing for which I appreciate these little birdies, is that they are monogamous i.e. they stay with a single partner, How amazing! On a planet where even human find it difficult and binding to stay with a single partner, birds are crossing the limits.

Anyway, a day after official welcome of spring, man also celebrates ‘the day of love’ i.e. ‘Valentine’s day’. However, it is considered a part of western culture therefore many cults are there to oppose it but who can stop love and lovers? So, we do celebrate the day with full fervour. 🙂

It’s really ironical, a country which worships ‘Radha-Krishana’ for their love, mostly fails to approve a love affair. Sometimes I am forced to think that our ancestors were rather more open-minded; they utilized their precious energy is more useful things than to just concentrate on who is seeing whom, and how many?

In ancient Indian scriptures a separate God for love is mentioned named ‘Kamadev’. ‘Kama’ stands for ‘desires’ or ‘longings’ and definitely the physical ones. It is said that wherever ‘Kamadev’ goes, Cuckoo, Parrot, Humming bees, gentle breeze, and the spring season follow him. So spring is the time when ‘Kamadev’ is in full mood to perform his duties of making world a ‘lovely’ place by fulfilling the desires of people. He takes his bow made of sugar-cane, and puts arrows made of immensely sweet-smelling and alluring flowers, and aims his targets. This is his way of making people fall in love. (Now you understand why the hearts of people in love, are always seen pierced with arrows. Well, May be).

And because he was responsible for love and procreation or simply the continuation of life on Earth, it is said that this made him very egotistical. One day, in the gush of such superior complex, he infuriated ‘Lord Shiva’ by aiming him in the worst time possible which ultimately brought him to ashes. The ‘Fire’ burnt on ‘Holi’ festival which will be celebrated next month, is supposed to be a reminder of this over-endeavour. (Holi is also called ‘Kama-mahotsava’.)

But after losing ‘Kamadev’, even Earth lost its vigour. No love, No song, No celebration…life became dull. Just imagine, today if every living being suffer from an ‘endocrine malfunction’. No hormones…No love at first… or any sight. Nobody is interested in opposite sex. What would be the fate of this supposedly only planet to have life?

It took a great deal of efforts to bring back ‘Kamadev’ to life and look, what humans are trying to do—demean those efforts! Understand, that everyone is hand-puppet of this ‘deity’ which is impossible to locate and avoid.  So why stop people from celebrating love when it is the very basis of life? Let them.

Yeah, people sometime confuse love, obsession and obscenity which are different expressions of the same act. We know ‘Love’ is there for a purpose but it is up to us ‘humans’ to decide the limits while searching and expressing it. Instead of focusing on ‘No love’, let us guide young people and tell them the pros and cons of ‘out-of-limit’ expression of love in our ‘society’; and teach them to be honest and respect to the feelings of others. Let them feel the passion for love but also remind them to be compassionate to the fellow humans.

I don’t understand one more thing, when even animals have a will power, strong enough to be faithful to their partner, why human find it tough?

But why I am bothered? I believe in love and its expression in my own simple way. I am grateful to deity ‘Kamadev’ as well as our ‘hormones’, for making some part of our life so exciting and happening.

For now, I am thankful for the ‘season of love’ is here and I am in a good mood to enjoy every bit of it. It’s ‘Global Warming Era’, my dear and as I said in the opening line ‘Time and Weather can change anytime’.  Why take chances? 😉